Sunday, February 9, 2014

Very rare behind the scenes outtakes (Oprah interview)

Watch this absolutely amazing behind the scenes footage from Oprah's interview with Michael at Neverland! The first part is shot inside the master bedroom, the second part in the amusement park.

Michael looks gorgeous - and Neverland, well... I don't think I have really realized what was lost until now.

Now we know what they're looking at - and why Michael looks embarrassed!


  1. PRICELESS:) Where did you find these treasured gems of Michael? He is an amazing entertainer, that is something that we all know...but I LOVE seeing him behind the scenes like this, because it is who he really is...shy, sweet, childlike, easily embarrased. In this instance, he just touches my heart so deeply...he is so precious, and it is for sure that God sent him to us to teach us how to love each other again. Thank you my friend, for finding this, and for sharing it. He is a treasure, and I am so thankful for His legacy, left for us...because it's not what you take with you that matters, it's what you leave's what you do with your life and the time God gives you that really matters.


    1. Hi T,
      I didn't find the footage - it exploded all over Twitter the other day. It was hard to miss, trust me.
      I love seeing him behind the scenes too - and especially in his home.

      " is not what you take with you that matters, it is what you leave behind..."
      I could not agree more. And what a wonderful and inspirational legacy he left for us.


    2. Hi E...

      I will be gone for a few days. My husband and I are taking our daughter to College day where she is thinking about attending this Fall.

      How have you been? Hope all is going well with you and your family, and that you have had time to relax and take some time to write.

      Hey...our temps will get up into the 50's this coming week. We are all looking forward to it:) It has been a difficult, dangerous Winter.

      Better go for now and tend to a few things that need to be done before we leave tomorrow.

      Have a good week:)



    3. Hi E...

      I am home now. Had a nice time with our daughter as she toured one of the colleges that she may be attending. It was 6 hours west of us, and a LONG drive there, and back. The time went by so fast as we went to meetings with her and visited with some friends who live there that I haven't seen in a long time. I recorded my first album there in that city, so going back there, and I haven't been there for at least 17 years, brought back some good memories. Now the decision is hers and we trust God to lead her in that decision, knowing that which ever one she chooses, He will provide for her every need:)

      How are you doing? How is life treating you? I pray that God blesses your day real good.

      Better go for now...have a lot of work to catch up with. I look forward to hearing from you, and as always, enjoying everything you write:)



    4. Hi T!

      I've been off-line for a few days due to a bad migraine, (in my week off, of course), but now I feel better.

      6 hours... That sure is a long drive. If I drove for six hours I would be somewhere in the middle of Germany. The US really is a big country. We are just midgets compared to you. :)

      Did she like the college? And what about her mother - did she like the college? (As a mother I know how important it is to feel comfortable with where you send your children.)

      Oh you recorded an album there? T, you know how curious I am and now you have really piqued my curiosity... Was it a solo album or did you record it with someone else - like for instance a choir? I've got to know. :)

      I have four days left of my mini vacation, so after having been down sick for two days, I intend to make the most of it - which means writing and baking all kinds of cookie and buns. I LOVE to bake, but I hardly find the time to do so under normal circumstances.
      Sometimes I wish I did not have to work. It would be nice to be a stay at home mom, but it is virtually impossible in Denmark because of the high living costs. You need two incomes.
      (Or a very rich man.)

      Okay, no more whining - I am going to write a bit now.
      Talk to you soon!



    5. Hi E...

      Glad to hear that you are feeling better. My Mom used to get awful headaches and they would make her so sick. I get some pretty bad ones sometimes, but nothing like she had. daughter liked the college and now she has to decide between the two of them. Not an easy decision. My husband is struggling with the thought of her going so far away. I am in the middle because I can see both sides. I want her to be where she will be happy, yet it will be so hard to get to her when she needs us, if she chooses the one that is 6 hours away... so it is not easy for us, dealing with these "issues of the heart" right now.

      Yes...I recorded my first album there. I wrote some of the material on the album and it was a solo album but some dear friends that I had grown up with backed me up on some of the fact it was their recording studio. They are a Gospel Quartet and we are still in touch with each other to this day. In fact, my husband and I stopped by to visit with one of the past members of the group and his wife while our daughter was taking the tour at the college that afternoon. Had a wonderful time:) I traveled in an 11 state area for 10 years, before meeting my husband. I was never famous, or anything like that, just traveled and sang for God where ever He led me. I love your curiosity:)

      So...what are you doing on your time off? You mentioned writing and baking. Sounds like a splendid idea to me:) I wish you could stay at home, too...but that decision has not come without sacrifice. It is the choice we made and it was the right one for us. My husband farms, and raises cattle, and I have been here raising our children, singing whenever I get the opportunity, and loving every minute of my life. I have discovered that my children need me just as much, if not MORE, now that they are in their teens and young adults, than they did when they were little. I am so glad that so far, I have been able to be home for them:) They keep me on my toes:)

      Could I ask what your job is like? Guess I am a little bit on the curious side, too.

      Have you noticed that we started out talking about Mike, in fact he is the one who brought us together, but we don't talk about him much anymore it seems. I guess that maybe we are getting past the surface, and getting to know each other better:) I loved the last two posts that you made, especially...about the interview with Oprah at Michael's house. I just LOVED that footage. To see him so real and not in performance mode just really got to me. He is the sweetest thing, and I don't know if you will understand this, but he has become like a part of my family...a dear friend...he is THAT precious to me. I love talking about Michael things with someone who understands him like you do...especially since my husband does not "get him." SO glad you are there...even though we are many miles away from each other, I can see you with my heart:) girls will be home soon from school so I better close for now. they will be full of "chatter" about their day, and I love it:) They go to school from 8:15 in the morning until 3:15 in the afternoon, and they get off the bus around 3:45p . What are the hours that your daughter goes to school? We also go from Monday through about you?

      Take care and and was really good talking with you:)


      Your song writing friend...


    6. Hi T,
      I am sure your daughter will make the right decision for her - and that her daddy will be happy with whatever she choses. Letting one's children fly from the nest is never easy, but it is one of the phases that we all have to go through. It is natural. And - wouldn't it be much worse if our kids never left home? I think so.

      So you were singing for ten years? Wow... I am impressed.
      I wish I could hear what you sound like.

      What do I do for a living?
      Well, I work for the local government (municipal) as a consultant.
      Most of my work involves graphic design and art directing. I am responsible for the corporate design and web page and I make pamphlets, posters, adds, logos and a wide variety of other publications for print and web.
      I also write and translate some of the mayor's speeches and send out press releases - plus a lot of other ad hoc stuff.
      I generally have a very varied work load and most days when I drive to work I do not know what is going to happen.
      I have been employed there for the past 14 years and I am mostly happy with what I do.

      Yes, I have noticed that we are talking about our lives rather than about Michael. I think it is only natural - still let me make up for it by asking you a question I often ask myself:
      How do you think people will see Michael 200 years from now? Will he be considered a musical genius like Mozart or will his legacy be his humanitarian work? Or... What do you think? I would really like to hear your take on this.

      My daughter goes to school from 8 in the morning until 2:30 in the afternoon from Monday to Thursday. Her Fridays are a little shorter - usually from 8 am to 1 pm.

      Speaking of time...
      I have just realized that I have less than half an hour to cook our dinner, so I had better get started!

      Talk to you soon!



    7. Hi E...

      Thanks for the words of encouragement. You made me feel better:) I wish that we could just sit down over some coffee and some of your baked goodies, and talk:)

      You probably won't ever get the opportunity to hear me, so, I will tell you that I have a low voice. It is called a Contralto and it is lower than an alto. Let's see...maybe I can give you a little insight into what I look would that be? You will have to see me with your that alright? I am 5'4 almost 5'5, I used to have jet black hair, but time has changed it to a silver, I have dark brown eyes, a heart shaped face, and I am "round". Time and 3 babies, and surgery, have changed my body, but I just consider it that God loved me so much that He decided to "Super size" me:) How's that? Does an image of what I might look like come to your mind? What do YOU look like?

      Thank you for sharing what you do for a living with me:) Wow...I am the one who is impressed:) It sounds very interesting:) That is the key...when we enjoy what we do, it will never be work:)

      How do I think people will see Michael 200 years from now? Hmm...let's see...I think they will see him as both...a musical genius and a humanitarian. There are new generations that are learning about Michael even now, and learning to appreciate his talent and realizing the gift that he was and will always continue to be. His legacy will always remain with us when we carry his message of love in our hearts. Every time we listen to the words and the music of his songs, I believe his love is released to us, and I think that is why after almost 5 years have gone by since he left this world, We love him more than we ever did before...because he is still with us. I found his book online yesterday..."Dancing the Dream", and he had me in tears before I was through reading. I saw a side of him that I had never seen, or heard before, such a depth of love stored in the cavern of his heart. He doesn't speak like any other man I know...almost like he is not from this world, but heavenly. It thrilled my heart to find this have to realize that I am not computer smart, but I can get around where I need to... and after all these days, weeks, months, and years, since he find these stories and poems and experiences that came from his heart, let me see him in a whole new light. I love it when you post new footage of Michael, because it is something of him, that I have never seen before. When I go shopping it makes me so sad to not even see a trace of this dear man's like he has been wiped off the face of the earth, and I don't understand that, because there are many of those who have passed that were famous, and there are items that still grace the shelves of many stores that remind us of their life and what they accomplished with the time they were given. I know Michael is all over the Internet, but I just want to see him before it used to be right after he passed away. I could go to the books, the magazines, the music, the jewelry, and on and on, and see him where ever I looked, and now it's as if he never existed. Have you noticed that? I have, and it makes me hurt for him, because he deserves so much better than that.

      It's been great talking with you, but I need to go for now, so take care and God bless:)



    8. Yes, I see you. :)

      So, what do I look like?
      Well, I am 5’7 and very Scandinavian i.e. “equipped” with long, wavy blonde hair, freckles, apple cheeks and grayish blue eyes. I too am a little round here and there, but since I only had one child I think we need to blame most of my uh…softness…on my love of food (chocolate and ice cream in particular).

      Thank you for giving me your thoughts on where Michael will be in two hundred years. I agree with you wholeheartedly, but I am not sure if it is because there’s an element of wishful thinking behind it as well.
      I really do want him to be remembered both as a musical genius and a great humanitarian.
      We’ll never live to see the day, but I hope that we both will live long enough to see all the evil ridicule subside. Michael deserves to rest in peace…

      Speaking of which…
      It is true that Michael doesn’t make as many headlines as he used to do, but I think it is only natural. He pops up in the Danish newspapers from time to time and if you search some of the big online bookstores, you will find an abundance of books on him – and more are on the way. So to me, it is not a sign that he has been forgotten by the general public, I just think it is a sign that we have moved past the phase of shock and disbelief.
      Give it a couple of years and I think we’ll see some really good books on his life – perhaps even a movie or two. There is certainly material enough. And then at some point the future of Neverland will be decided too. IF - and I stress “if” – the Estate finds a way to deal with the very real and understandable concerns and protests of the local inhabitants of the Santa Ynez Valley – then maybe, just maybe, Neverland will be turned into a place of worship and remembrance for his fans.
      I am sure lots of MJ merchandise is going to pop up too - can you imagine a web shop with all things Michael and all things Neverland?
      I certainly can.
      Dancing the Dream is a wonderful book – and a fantastic insight into Michael’s personality. He certainly does not talk, think or perceive the world like any other man. He is unique.

      I just realized that I still talk about him in the present tense…
      I love it. He is very much alive to me too – not in the flesh of course, but in my heart. He guides me and inspires me every day. So to me Michael IS.
      Ah yes…
      What a great way to end this post. :)

      Lots of love


  2. Hi E...

    You sound lovely:)

    Before I forget...I have finished Stairway to Heaven chapter 2...may I read the next chapter, or where ever you would like me to go?

    I think you are right...we HAVE moved past the initial shock of losing Michael, but it still makes me sad, because to me, He will always BE. You talk about Michael in the present like I do:) I like how you said that he guides you and inspires you every day, So to you Michael IS:) I understand that my friend:)That is such a revelation from his heart to your's and to all of us who appreciate this man that God sent into our world to ignite our spirits and excite our souls.Have you ever experienced moments where his name is dropped into a conversation so unexpectantly that it just makes your heart pound in your chest, as he reminds you he is near...moments that you know no one else would ever believe and you could NEVER begin to explain?Moments that make you whisper under your breath...why Michael...why have you chosen me? And dreams that seem so real that you can still recount in detail what he wore ,how he looked, how you felt when he looked at you and smiled,and what he said to you...making you wonder if it was a dream, or if he really came to you. In my last dream, he and I were in a room, and there were people int here that I did not know, but there was danger in that room and I felt it. Michael was standing near a door in the corner of the room. The room was dimly lit, and when I moved toward the door, I was told to stay away from THAT door. THAT was Michael's door. I felt for him as he looked at me, hoping he would tell me what this was all about, and then I woke up. I wanted to go back there and bring him with me so he would be safe. I don't know what that dream meant, but I know that I was in protection mode where he was concerned.

    I need to go for now...My family are all getting home, so I will talk to you soon:)

    God bless...


    1. Hello, my dear friend,
      I remember two times in particular, where Michael suddenly popped up out of the blue – and both times it was a great consolation to me. When my daughter was diagnosed with diabetes a year and a half ago, we were sitting in the lounge of the children’s hospital, waiting for the doctor, who was going to run some tests on her before she could be admitted her to the hospital. In the lounge, music was playing softly in the background, but I was so out of it that I was not able to focus on any of the songs – or anything else for that matter. Everything was just a blur… I was so sad. I swear it felt as if everything was falling apart around me. Until all of a sudden “Remember The Time” started flowing out of the loudspeakers. My daughter straightened up and looked at me and I looked at her and then she smiled and said “Listen mommy, it’s Michael.”
      At that very moment it felt as if he had come to comfort me. I know it is silly, but that was what I felt.
      And later the same day, when one of the nurses was putting band aids on my daughter’s fingers, she said “Now you look like Michael Jackson.”
      That was when I knew everything was going to be okay.
      And although it took a while – more than a year actually – everything is in fact okay now.
      I have great faith in that man, T. I really do. Whenever I need a friend, he is always there for me. Seriously, I could not wish for a better friend and support than Michael. Yes, I know it is all in my head (and my heart), but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that it works.

      I know about the dreams too. They used to be really frequent, but I only have them from time to time. I remember everything from those dreams, even smells and the feeling of different materials (including the feeling of the skin on his hand). The funny thing is that often I am also aware that I am dreaming when it happens. Sometimes I can even control the events of my dreams. I’ve done a bit of research to figure out why that is and come to the conclusion that most of my SMD’s as I call them (Sweet Michael Dreams) are lucid dreams. Why that is, I don’t know, but it is very intriguing.

      Okay, so you are done reading chapter two – we’d better get you started on chapter three then:


    2. Hi E...

      Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. I only have a few minutes this morning, as we are getting up and around and getting ready to go to Worship services, but you have been on my mind and I just wanted to stop by this morning and say hi....Hi:)

      Thank you for sharing your "Michael Moment" with me. Even though he has physically been gone from this world for almost 5 years, his love still remains...and what an amazing love he is:)

      Lucid dreams? My son has made mention of those before. There are times that I dream of Michael and I don't realize that he has been with me until I wake up, and it seemed SO real. I don't like those dreams, because if I am going to be with Michael...I want to KNOW about it:)

      How have you been? I hope that all is going well for you and your family. We are all fine. Our weather is bouncing back and forth these days...yesterday it was the 50's and sunny and today we are having Winter again. I am ready for Spring to get here and stay. What are your seasons like?

      I need to go for now. Thank you for the link to chapter three. I don't get much time to read these is busy, but I am looking forward to a good read when all the kids get back to school , and college, after a busy weekend:)

      Have a wonderful day and enjoy your family, and doing what you love to do. Will you be baking any goodies today? I made lazy bars the other day and it was a hit with my family. Are you familiar with Pinterest? I do not have an account, but I like to get on there and browse. I LOVE to try new recipes:)

      Take care, and God watch over you and keep you safe in His Love:)



    3. Hi E...

      I sat down and read Stairway to Heaven chapter 3 all at one setting this morning...OH...MY:)I am ready for the next chapter whenever it is convenient for you. Your gift and insight are so exciting:)



    4. Hello T,
      This time it is my turn to say that I am sorry for taking so long to get back to you. My daughter is having a bit of a rough time at school at the moment, so I do not have the usual amount of time and energy to devote to other things such as Michaeling and talking to you.
      Sorry about that but I have a feeling you will understand that it has to be "children first."

      You ask me if I will be baking any goodies today - actually I am. Peach cobbler... Mmmmm...
      I just love it! I am sure you know what it is, because as far as I know peach cobbler is an American "invention."

      I know what Pinterest is, but to say that I am familiar with it would be taking it too far. I have taken a short look at it once, and then decided to stick to my Twitter, blogger and Google+ accounts. They are more than time consuming enough.

      I will get back to you later today regarding the next chapter. I need to read it before I give you the link - just to make sure... You know. :)

      Have a wonderful weekend, my friend - and don't worry, my daughter will be fine. It is nothing too serious, but it could be if we don't take care of it.



    5. Here's chapter 4:

  3. Hi E...

    Don't you give me a second thought...your family comes first. We will talk when we are meant to. I hope that whatever it is that you are going through in your personal life, is getting better. You are in my prayers...I really mean that.

    Peach cobbler? Yes...I like that, too. I am wanting to try a new recipe for homemade banana pudding if it works out this week. It really sounds good, and I love to try new recipes. So far...the ones I have tried in the last couple weeks, have been a success with my family:) i guess I could say that finding new recipes is one of the hobbies that I enjoy, apart from music, which is what I eat, drink and breathe:) How about you...what are some of your favorite things to do? I know you like to bake, but what else do you really enjoy?

    I think it is sweet the way you want to read the next chapter that you will be giving me...protecting me. That speaks volumes as to how much you respect our friendship. Thank you for that:) I know we started out talking to each other about Michael, but our connection has grown into the friendship we now share, and I just think that is amazing:) I feel that I can talk to you about anything...Woman to Woman, Mother to Mother, heart to heart, and I love the refreshing way you look at things. It helps me to see life from a different perspective:)

    I miss Michael. It's like missing a good friend that I can no longer see because he is so far away, yet, even though I know he is not here any longer, my heart, I can still feel him. I know that doesn't make sense, but I can sense that he is near. When I began "experiencing these feelings", I didn't understand it, and I still don't, but I wonder if it isn't because there are those whose hearts are open to him, like yours and mine, and so many others, and those are the hearts that he has chosen to reveal himself share his fulfill his show others how to love each other again.

    I better go for now, so take care, and thank you for Chapter 4. That will be my "treat time" for today after I get my work done:)

    God bless you in all you do this day and keep you in His Tender Love and care:)



    1. Hi T,

      Thanks for keeping us in your prayers, but don't worry. It is nothing serious, but just one of those things that could be serious if we did not address it right away. Puberty is never easy, but when you have Diabetes as well you are even more sensitive to all the things you are going through.
      I think we are back on the right track again, though.

      What do I like besides baking cake (and eating it)?
      Well, I love horse back riding. I had a horse a few years ago - an Icelandic Horse - but had to sell her because I was too busy to give her the necessary attention. However, I really miss riding and hope that I will find the time to do so later in life. (When my daughter flies from the nest.)

      I love sailing too - just like a lot of other Danes. Denmark is almost surrounded by water, so the sea plays a huge role in our lives and has done so ever since our wild and crazy viking days.
      When I was a child and teenager - well, actually it was well into my twenties - I used to go sailing with my parents every summer. We were on the sea every weekend and usually went for a month long cruise to Sweden as well. Those were great times! I wish I could afford a yacht just like the one my parents have, but they are so expensive nowadays that all I can afford is a small dinghy. :)
      I am still hoping that one day my parents will leave their yacht to me - but I doubt it. They like travelling a lot and when the yacht becomes too much for them to handle, I think they will sell it and use the money for travels. (Which is okay btw - it is their money after all.)

      What else do I like?
      Travelling, reading, and just generally having a good time - preferably by walking around in my garden in the summer, sniffing the flowers. I like goofing off too, a fact which my daughter finds terribly embarrasing at times, but I always tell her that we must never grow too old to play.

      T, I am not just protecting you by reading the chapters before I give you the links. I am also protecting myself from embarrassment. To tell you the truth, I am not particularly happy with the first 10-15 chapters. I could have done so much better. And I should but... The story was never meant to continue forever. It was just for fun.
      Now I write for a totally different reason - I want to honor Michael, I want to give him what he did not have and so, I put my heart and soul in it in a totally different way.
      Still, I did not want to rewrite the first chapters either (for sentimental reasons), so they remain the way they are - authentic, but so embarrasing that I curl my toes in my shoes at times. :)

      I hope you will bear with the first few chapters. I promise the story gets better and more credible as we move on.

      Love as always

      Your friend, E

  4. Hi E...

    Sorry it has taken me so long to write. I have been thinking of you, but I have been dealing with a health issue, and not feeling much like writing

    Thank you for sharing some of the things you enjoy with me. I am glad to get to know you better. You sound like a lot of fun to be with:) Anything you would like to know about me just ask:)

    We had Spring storms blow through yesterday...rain, wind, hail, thunder and lightening. I don't know which is worse, the ice storms of Winter, and being held at bay and snowed in... or these Spring storms. There was a tornado that touched down just 70 miles to the North West of us yesterday. No one was hurt, but there was damage to property. When the atmosphere is unstable, and the temps are going back and forth, it can be dangerous. How about you get storms like this? What is your weather like right now?

    I have been having fun trying out new recipes from Pinterest on my family, and so far, they are really enjoying my new found hobby:) I am not a member, but I like to just browse around the community page and see what I can find...not only for recipes, but for so many other things that are useful as well. Recipes and Music, Songwriting, Reading, Bible study, and Michaeling are some of things that I really enjoy, and spending time with my family, and friends:)

    What do you think about Michael's new cd coming out? Are you going to get one? I am looking forward to hearing the songs he was working on...this Musical Genius. But in a way it makes me sad, because he is no longer here to promote his album the way he always used to do. Hearing his voice sometimes is difficult to take, because it feels like he never really left...and I guess in a way that it true, because his love will always be here with us through his music. There is a question that has been on my mind, so I am going to ask you what you think....why is new footage and pictures of Michael, that we have never seen before...after almost 5 years, being released NOW? There are so many who believe that Michael is still with us...somewhere...and to be honest, the back of my mind, it makes me wonder if they are right. Consider this with me for a moment... What if he was taken out of the way for a time, and he is VERY aware of everything that is going on? What if he KNOWS the ones who genuinely love him, stand up for him and believe in him? What if somehow he could KNOW just who and where WE are, E? Is that a thought worth giving some time to? I am not saying that I believe that theory, because Personally, I really believe that he "went home", but there is a little part of my heart that just has to wonder because afterall...He IS Michael Jackson:) Did I refer to him in the present tense??? Yes...I did:)

    I have read the chapter you sent me already, and would really love to have the next one...if you are comfortable sharing it with me. So your toes curl in your shoes sometimes? Why is that? Because you feel Michael wouldn't approve? Michael was a human being and he was a Man with a heart that felt, and loved, and desired...and needed to be loved...that is the way God made him.I think because of his fame, it is easy to forget that he was a NORMAL man. Michael said that he was a gentleman and I believe him cause his mama taught him right:) He also said that He loved God and his relationship with Him was very important to him. He wasn't perfect, but he lived his life doing the best he could, giving of his heart to help others, to please God. So I believe in your calling to honor him with the love of a woman that he deserved but never quite found while he was here.He had so much love to give and many times that love was taken and thrown back at him. You have a very special gift to give him...a taste of what it's like to fall in love and to BE loved. So I will be most happy to "bear with you" as I read chapter by chapter, because I believe in YOU:) Looking forward to it:)

    Better go for now...

    Love from your friend...


    1. Hello T,

      You know what?
      We ought to stop making excuses - after all we are both grown up women with a lot of experience in our pockets, right? Sometimes life gets in the way. That is just the way it is - and the way it should be. We must all tend to the things closest to our hearts first i.e. our families and our health.

      A good friend is patient too.

      That said I hope you are feeling better and that it was nothing to serious.
      And hey - please take care, okay? Don't rush it to get to the computer.
      I am here tomorrow too.

      What is the weather like at the moment?
      Hm... Typical Danish spring weather, I would say. And now I know you want to ask me what typical Danish spring weather is. :)
      It is like this: Rain, sunshine, rain, sunshine, rain, sunshine - and so forth. In a single day, the weather can change several times. Temperatures are usually within the range of 30 to 60 F with the coldest temperatures at night.
      However, it was the exact opposite last night, where we had this year’s first thunder roll over our heads. It was really warm outside this morning too, but when I got out around noon, it was chilly.
      Danish spring weather is crazy.
      It tends to get more stable in May and June, but you never really know, since Denmark sits right in the middle of the Northern Westerly Winds Belt. I always say that Danish weather is like Forest Gump's box of chocolates. You never know what you are gonna get. :)
      Usually August is our best month.

      I am definitely going to buy the new CD, but just like last time it is going to be a bitter sweet experience listening to the songs on the album. I love to hear the songs he was working on, but at the same time I am acutely aware that they are not finished because he is no longer here to finish them. And that makes me really sad.

      The thought of him still being around somehow is very alluring. And yes, I’ve been there too on more than one occasion. Oh, that little “what if…” It is so attractive, but when I look at his daughter and think about what the poor child has gone through since Michael passed away, there is no doubt in my mind that he did exactly that. He is gone from this world, T.
      However, given the way he left this world – and the fact that he had a lot of things he wanted to do, including being a father – I sometimes wonder if the reason why we can sense him so clearly is because he did not want to go. I hope it is not so, but I have never been able to completely shake the idea.

      You read the chapter already?
      Good grief woman! I had better take a look at the next one for you then!

      I will be back soon!



  5. T, I decided to skip chapter 5 and 6.
    You know what is going to happen in chapter 5, I am sure. It is not that the scene is not nice and respectful, but I am not completely happy with it.

    In chapter 6, Emma sees the Vitiligo for the first time when he is sleeping next to her - and finds out that he is not comfortable with her looking at him like that. Emma also asks him an embarrasing question. She wants to know why he did not ask her about protection. And finally Michael admits that he went through her stuff and found her pills.
    They also say goodbye and Emma goes back home.

    And this is where we find her in chapter 7:

  6. Hello E...

    I am feeling better, and thank you for your kind words:) Have been doing some "Michaeling". He always makes me feel better, and gives me inspiration:)

    Yes...good friends are patient, and maybe that is why you are so patient with me:) It seems we don't write like we used to. When we first met, we talked quite often about Michael. We have moved on now and become quite good friends, getting to know each other more with each time we write. In June, we will reach the 5 year mark since our very precious friend went home, and you would think that we would be running out of things to talk about where it concerns him...but just when I think that we have reached that place...there is something that excites our hearts and we realize that Michael is timeless and he never ever will reach that place:) Meeting you was a dream of actually be able to communicate with another heart that loves and respects Michael like I do, but you are so much more...You are a FRIEND, and even though I have never seen you with my own eyes... I have seen you with my heart, and my heart considers you a very special blessing that has been added to my life:)

    I love your curiosity and your creativity:) don't think I can handle chapter 5 or 6? Since you have given me a quick summary of those chapters, I would like to try it ...if that's okay?...but if you really are that uncomfortable with me reading it, I will respect your wishes. I have not been offended thus far:) What you write is always respectful of Michael and his lady. But you do what you feel makes you comfortable:) I am always here to believe in you:)

    Well..that's about it for now I guess...not much else to chat about, even though I wish there were. I enjoy your company, and look forward to whenever you can write. Hope this finds you and your family doing well and enjoying life:)

    Take care and God bless you real good:)

    Love from your friend in the States...


    1. Thank you, T.
      I am really touched - and proud - that you count me among your friends. We are so different and live so far apart that we were destined never to talk... Enter Michael... And look where we are now, my friend.
      Our love for the same man has brought us together.
      Miraculous? Yes, if you ask me. :)

      I am sure we will get back to Michael, once we have listened to his new album. From what I hear, the producers and the Estate have done a really good job this time. I am really looking forward to the album now...

      Oh... I just remembered! When the former owner of Neverland (it was then called the Sycamore Valley Ranch) decided to sell it, he had 100 leather bound and 200 paper bound real estate brochures made - and I am getting one of them week. My husband bought one for me, knowing how much the place means to me. I can't wait to hold it in my hands!
      What a treasure!

      I recently got three sheets of authentic Neverland stationary as wel. so my Neverland collection is growing. Now it is not just hundreds of pictures, but things I can touch. T... I feel so lucky.

      O-o... You want chapter 5 and 6 as well?
      I need to take a deep breath here...


      Here they are:



  7. Good Morning E...

    Before this day gets much further away from me...I just wanted to wish you and your family a very Happy and Blessed Easter:) Easter is so much more to me than chocolate bunnies and Easter egg is the tremendous price that Jesus paid for me because of His Amazing Love...His death, burial, and resurrection and THAT is why I celebrate Easter...because He is Lord:)

    It is beautiful here today. The grass has gotten so green and my son and youngest daughter worked on getting the lawn mowed yesterday already. In a way...I hate to see them start it, cause it is a long season of mowing once you begin. My oldest daughter mows her grandparents yard for them, and it is quite large. It has been her summer job for a couple years now. There is no way she is letting her grandma get out there on that mower:)

    Your husband is a very thoughtful man. I am so happy and excited for you!!! Do you have it yet? It will be just absolutely amazing to hold it in your hands.I can just see you when you get it:) You are right...what a treasure...and the stationary as well. YOU must have been a very good girl lately:

    I just got a phone call and I have to scoot for now, but I will be back in just a little bit to talk some more:)

    See you in a little bit:)


  8. Hi E...

    I'm back. It has been a busy day so far, but finally I have a few minutes to breathe, so I choose to visit with you:)

    I want to say thank you for trusting me the way you do. I could tell that you were uneasy about sharing chapters 5 and 6 with me, and I am sorry if I made you feel that way. I have read chapter 5... do you want my honest opinion? I thought it was Romantic, and a passionate, intimate dialogue between the hearts of two people who are very much in love.You had nothing to fear in letting me read it. Sometimes we are our own worst critics, and much of the time, we are too hard on ourselves, so we need to see our heart through the heart of someone else who cares about us:) I am looking forward to reading chapter 6. When I read what you write, I feel like I could have been his friend, and that is a very good place to be:) Thank you for that:) is calling me again, so I better go for now. Take care and enjoy your weekend with your family and make precious memories because our time spent together with the ones we love goes by much too quickly.

    God bless you my friend:)



    1. Hello T,
      A very happy Easter to you and your loved ones too!
      Nowadays Easter is everything but Easter eggs and chocolate to me. With a diabetic in the house, sweets are off limits as I am sure you understand. We do not celebrate Easter religiously either, so most of all it is just a few welcome days off where we get a chance to spend some time with the family and take care of all the things we do not usually get done when we are working. So I’ve been doing some gardening (there is so much weed this year, I cannot believe it), spring cleaning, helping my daughter with a math assignment etc.
      We did discuss Easter over dinner one night and ended up talking about the role of the Bible in people’s life and religion in a historical perspective. It was pretty interesting actually. We do not do that very often, so I guess the holiday did have an impact on us “heathen Vikings” after all. 
      My husband is thoughtful?!
      Oh, T I am laughing! You cannot know of course, but he is like really bad at remembering my birthday. And I mean really bad. It has been like that ever since we met and at first I was terribly annoyed with him when he forgot (once it took a month for him to remember that he had forgotten something) but now I know it is not ill will on his part, he just one of those men who needs a little help. So the last couple of years I have reminded him that my birthday is coming up and often I have told him what I would like too to make it easier for him.
      This year, I did the same, but mostly as a joke. I never thought he would buy that brochure for me. He has never bought something on Ebay before, so I did not think he would – but surprise, surprise… he did. 
      It should get here next week, but I know there is a risk it might get delayed when it goes through customs. Sometimes it takes weeks for them to clear a package. Really annoying, but that is the way it is in Denmark where everything bought overseas is being examined and valuated to determine how much import tax we have to pay. (I already told my husband I would pay the tax if customs decides to charge us for an almost 30 year old brochure, which I am pretty sure they will. Sigh…)

      Apart from the linguistic problems, my problem with the early chapters of Stairway to Heaven is the fact that I am not happy with Michael. I had not “found” him at that point, so he does and says things that are out of character – and way too naughty, if you know what I mean. My Michael is not like that – and I am not sure the real Michael was that way either – so I always cringe inside when I read those first chapters and the intimate ones in particular.
      I have gotten a lot better at decoding and portraying him since them, but on the other hand, I have been writing for more than three years too, so I guess that is not so strange.
      I don’t know how to explain it… It is just that Michael is poetry to me. Sweet poetry… And I want the way I write him to reflect that.
      Hm… I would say that from chapter 27 and on, I am happy. Oh! Chapter 27 includes parts of the Song of Solomon, by the way. I am really curious to know what you will think of that.
      We’ll see when you get there!



  9. Hi E...

    Well... I just finished reading chapter 6... took my breath away and I think it made my heart skip at beat. So...I am ready to move on to wherever you would take me whenever you are ready:) I was thinking about what you said ...that you felt these chapters were out of character for Michael and that the things he says and does are way too naughty, and your Michael wouldn't say or do those things, and that you weren't sure the real Michael was that way, either. Do you remember seeing him spank Siedah Garrett on stage during the song" Working day and night" on the Bucharest tour? And when he got quite passionate with her...rubbing her thigh, and coming very close to an unmentionable place, whether he meant to or not, while they sang"I just can't stop loving you" to each other? Michael was such a sweet man, but the transformation that took place in him when he stepped onto that stage was phenomenal. The passion that was "let loose" in him created an electric storm that took us all with him when we witnessed it. I know what you mean when you say that that he is poetry to you...Sweet poetry, and you want to reflect that in your writing, and my friend, you do, but we have to realize that he was a man on a mission and he was extremely passionate about everything and everyone that he cared about in his life. So...forgive me for going there, but I can only imagine what he must have been like when he was behind closed doors with the woman that he loved.It may be difficult to think of him in that way, but that is the way God made a man, and our Michael was no different...but the difference is that he was always a gentleman, so loving and thoughtful. He has become a very precious part of my life as well... and I am so thankful that God brought him into my life. I only wish that it didn't take him leaving, for me to meet him.

    Yes...our men do need a little help in that area sometimes...bless their hearts:) My husband bought me a ticket to go see The Oak Ridge Boys tomorrow night. Have you heard of them? They are a country quartet and I have enjoyed them for years, and they are going to be just about an hour away, and so my friend and I are going to see them. My husband knows that I love music and so he is sending me on this wonderful outing for my early Mother's Day gift from him. Isn't that sweet? I can hardly wait to actually see them in person:)

    I am the only one home right now, but that will change very soon, so I better think about fixing some supper. Any ideas? Hey...that's a neat idea...maybe we can exchange some of our favorite recipes with each other and see how different they are. What do you think? If you would like to, let me know the next time you write.

    Better go for take care and have a good week:) God Bless:)

    Love from your friend in the States... It still amazes me how Michael brought us together:)...


  10. T,
    You are too sweet.
    I can tell that you speak from your heart to make me feel better - and you have. I am not quite as uncomfortable with those chapters as before. Getting a stamp of approval from you means a lot to me. It really does.

    I know Michael was a Man with a Capital M. How could I miss that? I am a woman after all. And I love him as a woman too.

    He really was like two different people - sexy and powerful on stage and shy and softspoken when off the stage. Sometimes I wonder if any of these "personas" were an act - or if he really could be both at the same time. Maybe he could... Still waters run deep, isn't that what they say?
    If I had to put a bet on which persona was an act, I would go for the shy one. Don't really know why...
    It is not that I want him to be "bad." I love his shyness and gentle nature. It is just... Actually I think it is something he once said. He said that as a child he was afraid that people would stop loving him when he stopped being cute little Michael - i.e. became a teenager. Maybe he was subconsciously trying to hold on to those character traits and then they just stuck with him? Naaah...
    T, the man was an enigma. Maybe we should just leave it at that?
    A sexy enigma... *sigh* Oh boy...

    Anyway, I love your idea of exchanging recipies. I am already thinking about which one to post here for you. I want it to be something simble but good - and not too alien. :) I will get back to you as soon as I have come up with the right one.

    I do not know the Oak Ridge Boys. Will look them up on the internet!
    Nice tough from your husband! It is good to see that not all of them need help all the time. :)

    Okay, so you finished chapter 6...
    I think I am going to leave a few chapters for you this time - for being so nice to me regarding the last to one I posted.

    So, here they are - chapter 7 to 10:
    (Please note that chapter 10 is one of those difficult chapters for me again - but it is really important to the story, so I am going to leave the warning at that.)

    Lots of love from the other side of "the pond"


  11. Hi E...

    Did you see the premiere of Michael's new song,"Love never felt so good?" Oh goodness. I didn't get to see it on the actual awards program, but I found it this morning on the Internet. It brought tears to my eyes to hear Michael's you know why? Because it was a part of his heart being revealed to us, and even though he is gone, it feels like he is STILL with a part of him never left. Maybe the reason I feel that way, is because it is the truth. His heart is still with us in his music and every time the treasure that he left behind is opened, his love comes flowing to us. I love his new song. I can only imagine what the rest of the album will hold for us. In his voice there is such a real and unhindered... with so much passion that cannot be contained. THIS is MY Michael:) I am so excited about his new album. I feel like a child at Christmas waiting to unwrap the present that I have longed for. Yet...that gift is bittersweet because he isn't able to be here to enjoy sharing his heart with us. I truly hope that he knows how very much he is loved. It thrilled me to see the reaction of the audience, after his departure almost 5 years ago, and I whispered underneath my breath..."We STILL love you may be gone, but you will never be forgotten. You will live on in the hearts of those who love you and believe in what you stood for...always."

    Yes...he was like two different people. When he stepped on that stage, he became the music...he became the dance...he became one with the Creator. Yes...I agree...his waters did run VERY deep. I have heard that it is the shy quiet type you have to watch out for, and yes...I believe he tried to hold onto the essence of his "inner child." He had an awesome voice with a range that could be pure velvet on the low end of the spectrum, and then he could soar to the heights with a voice that the angels would be envious of. An enigma? You're right...maybe for fear of an irregular heartbeat, we should just leave that one right there. He was a phenomenon that couldn't be explained. He could move our hearts like no one else could ever dream of doing, and he's still doing it.

    I will be thinking about my favorite recipe to share with you. Looking forward to getting your's:)

    You're not going to believe this but I have read through all the chapters you sent me already. and Chapter still my beating heart! Once I started, I just couldn't stop...sorry. It's your fault for being so good at what you do;)

    Better go for now... been great talking to you:)

    Love ya...

    Your friend...


    1. Hello T!
      I saw the premiere of Love Never Felt So good on You Tube in the morning. The premiere was at 2 am my time, so I decided to wait since I had to get up early to go to work. What a lovely song it is! I've been listening to it pretty much non stop ever since the premiere.

      And now Sony has released a preview of Chicago and Loving You too! I am still not so sure whether I like Chicago or not - but I can't get the chorus out of my head for some reason. It is an edgy song, but Loving You on the other hand is really sweet.

      First favorite recipe:

      "Elvis potatoes"
      (They got the name because we got something like them at Graceland in Randers, Denmark. yes, there is a full scale Graceland replica in Denmark. So I guess you might know this recipe - or something similar. The potatoes are a great side dish to a juicy steak.)

      You will need:
      4 large potatoes
      Cheddar cheese

      Roast the bacon in a pan until nice and crispy, break up into tiny pieces and put away while you prepare the other ingredients.

      Bake the whole potatoes in the oven until they are done. App. 1-1,5 hours at 350 degrees F depending on the size of the potatoes.

      Cut them in half and carefully scrape out the potato flesh with a spoon. Be careful not to ruin the skin! Use to potato flesh to make mashed potatoes - whatever way you like it - I just use milk and salted butter. Add two handfuls of grated cheddar cheese (or until you start feeling ashamed) and the bacon.
      Season with salt and pepper.

      Put the mashed potato mix back into the half potato skins and sprinkle with a bit of cheddar cheese.

      Bake for app. 10 minutes. (same temperature as before)


      Speaking of enjoying…
      Man, you’ve been in a hurry reading those chapters! I can barely keep up with you! *smiles*
      Well then, I’d better post a few more for you:
      (I know the link says 16, but don’t worry, it is chapter 15)


  12. Hi E...

    Thank you for sharing one of your favorite recipes with me. That sounds like our Twice baked Potatoes. I have never made them but we have had them at one of our favorite restaurants before. I guess I would have to say that one of my favorite meals to make is breakfast for supper. I scramble up sausage, and then scramble eggs...usually between 10-12 eggs for my family. Then I combine the sausage and the eggs real good and melt shredded cheese over that. I will either fix biscuits...I don't make them by scratch, but buy them frozen in a bag and bake them off at 350 degrees. My kids like them a bit underdone, and they taste like homemade. If I don't fix biscuits, I will fix pancakes with it, and hashbrown potatoes. It is comfort food and my family really enjoys it. My husband likes me to serve pork and beans with it as well. I put different jellies or syrups on the table for everybody to choose what they like. I like this at supper, because we have the time to sit down as a family in the evening to share a meal together. In the morning, my kids and I aren't much on a big breakfast. I fix a hearty breakfast for my husband before he goes out to do the chores and head to work though.

    It won't be long before we get Michael's new CD, and before YOU get to open your package from your husband. You must be so excited. You will have to tell me all about it when that moment you've waiting for arrives:)

    Thank you for the next chapters:) I will try to SAVOR the next batch.

    I purchased gloves that looked like MIchael's at a garage sale. I found them at the sale that our kids' youth group had at our church a couple weeks ago, to raise funds to attend a Christ In Youth event that they go to every summer. This year they are going to Tennesee which is a about an 8 hour drive from us. Anyway I found the gloves...white with sequins and they even light up! I just had to have them. I keep them in safe keeping in my drawer, and every time I open it, they make me smile. Sometimes I put one on and it is a neat feeling. I know they aren't his, but I can dream that they are anyway:) Sometimes I miss him...does that make sense? I have missed him so much today. I don't understand how I can miss someone I never physically met. Let me see if I can explain how it feels...It feels like...a very dear friend of mine moved away and I am missing his smile, his laughter, the very essence of who he is...Yes... I just referred to him in the present tense again, because to me he is just away for a while, but his love lingers all around me...surrounding me, encouraging me to believe in my dreams:)

    I better go for now. You take care and have a wonderful weekend, and Happy Mother's Day to my friend:)



  13. Hi E...

    I don't know how far apart we are time wise, so I am sending you a very Happy Birthday now from your friend in the states:) God bless you and may your day be as special as you are:)



    1. Thank you very much, T.
      As I am sure you can understand I am a little busy celebrating my birtheday with my family today, but I promise that I will get back to you as soon as possible! Loved the story about your sequined gloves!

      Can't wait to talk about Xscape! I've had it a few days already!



  14. T, my friend, I have to tell you something absolutely crazy.
    As you know, my husband gave me the brochure for my birthday – and it is everything I expected it to be, only a lot bigger. The full page pictures are absolutely amazing. Wow… I wish we could sit down with a cup of coffee and flip through its pages together.
    Anyway, this is not what I wanted to tell you.
    It is what I noticed the day after my birthday when I took the first look at the accompanying papers and saw the name of the person, who sold the brochure to my husband.
    I did not have much time, because I noticed just before I had to leave for work, but as soon as I got there I googled the name. There was something about it that reminded me of something, but I could not for the life of me remember what it was. Unfortunately goggle gave me nothing – until I left out the first name and only googled the person’s family name.
    T, I almost fell off my chair.
    Just as I had expected, there was a very strong - but also very troublesome - link to Michael. A person with that surname worked for him in the beginning of the 1990s. Up until things went bad, this person had exclusive access to Michael’s private quarters in his bedroom. Unfortunately she betrayed Michael’s trust by stealing from him – and not just a little, but a lot. Stationary and various merchandize, watches and Michael’s clothes etc. - basically everything she could get her hands on. (She was later found guilty for stealing.) When she was sacked, she accused Michael of the most horrible things, but everything that she said was shot down in the 2005 trial. Nothing added up – plus she apparently had a really bad track record when it came to honesty.
    She lives on the very same address as the person who sold the brochure to my husband – a person, who according to what I have been able to dig up online is most likely a very close relative of her. Strangely, I was not able to locate the seller on the said address, so I began to wonder if he lives there at all.
    With that in mind I went back on ebay to see what else the seller of the brochure was selling under his anonymous username, thinking that perhaps it was just this one thing related to Michael. It was not. There were even some of Michael’s used pants among the things, which this seller has previously sold, which sadly supports my suspicion.
    Another piece of evidence is the fact that all descriptions of the items on ebay were written in capital letters – just as every tweet on the woman’s twitter profile. The woman who worked for Michael…
    T, I think the seller is hiding behind her son’s name. I think the seller is really the woman who worked for Michael, which means that the brochure I got for my birthday might have been stolen from the house. I can’t say for sure of course and I never will be able to, but everything points in that direction.
    So… I might have Michael’s brochure, which is just absolutely crazy.

  15. I was not even looking for the brochure when I stumbled across it. I was picture hunting on Google, but thanks to a link I ended up on ebay and saw the brochure. I then sent the link to my husband knowing he would never buy anything on ebay, (it was mostly a joke really) but for some strange reason he did buy it just before it got taken off ebay again.
    And then when we got it, I saw where it came from and realized what it might mean…
    T, I swear I would not have sent the link to my husband if I had known where the brochure might come from, but we had no way of knowing since one cannot see the identity of the sellers on ebay.
    So what happened? I keep asking myself this question and my answer is always the same.
    I feel like the brochure wanted me to find it.
    It wanted to come to me under circumstances so crazy and unlikely that I feel as if magic played a part in this. As if someone was pulling the strings to make it all happen…
    T, the odds are impossible. Both you and I know that.
    And yet…
    There is so much circumstantial evidence.
    Maybe I really do have Michael’s copy.
    I will never know, but my heart says yes.

    I have goose bumps all over.

    I hope you can understand that I cannot be more specific regarding the identity of the seller. I have to be careful online – and, you know there is still a chance that I might be wrong. So I don’t want to accuse someone of something illegal when I am not 100% sure.
    The story was too crazy not to share though.



    1. Hi E....

      I just found you, and oh my goodness, bless your heart... I TOTALLY get how you feel as if someone was behind the you were supposed to find it. I hear what you are saying. There have been so many Michael Moments take place in my life lately that my mind says....there is no way that this is happening, but my heart says...Oh yes it is!!! There are things "Michael-wise" that I can't explain away...things that give me he just goes through me...that connection. How can we explain this phenomenon? We can't. Sometimes there are just mysteries that cannot be defined, and I believe that Michael is one of them. Listen to your heart when he's calling for you, and you will know the truth.He told us in his music," When you need me, call my name, and I'll be there", and I believe him:) Bare with me for just a moment because I believe that through Michael, God has carved out a way that is so creative... to reach me, to get my attention, and stop me in my tracks so I will listen to Him, because He knows me better than anybody else...He is Lord of my heart, and it thrills me when He does that, yet sometimes it really blows my mind when I discover that it is Him behind it. Michael has become a part of my life that no one else would understand except a heart that is tender toward Michael, like your's, and I KNOW that it is not just a coincidence that Michael brought the two of us together...cause we understand when things we can't explain happen because that's just our Michael:)

      I finally was able to get to the store yesterday and purchase Michael's Escape. I listened to it when I got home, and I think he is amazing. There is so much passion and zeal and fervor coming out of him, and it felt like he was right there in the room with me, singing straight to my heart. I love "Love never felt so good." It is just SO Michael. I love the message in all his songs, and I have heard some unreleased versions, but I have never heard them like THIS:) He can make a tired heart beat again...I'm tellin ya:) What do you think about the cover? I love his eyes...there is just something about he is telling us something... without saying a word.

  16. This has been a MONSTER of a week. Last Saturday morning at 3a we received a call telling us that my father's apartment building was on fire and they were evacuating all the residents and taking them to another location for the night with the help of the Red Cross. We live out of town, and kept in close contact with the Emergency agencies that were caring for him. They put him in a motel for a few days while restorations teams worked hard to get the residents back in their homes. He just got moved back in a couple days ago, and was happy to get back home. On top of that, my son had a form of possible skin cancer removed from his lip so we are waiting for the report of the biopsy. He graduates this evening from college and gets his degree. Then my oldest daughter graduates high school on Sunday so we are also preparing for that. Life is wearing out this mama, but they are milestones in the lives of my children and I can't believe this day is here. It seems like I just turned around and they were all grown up getting ready to leave the nest and start their own lives. We have our youngest daughter still with us, and she is 15 years old, and will miss her siblings very much, but they will stay in touch:) That is a good thing about the Internet in this day and age... we are never very far away from each other. Just look at the two of us? We are in different countries, but here we to talk to each other whenever time and life permits, and our hearts are brought together in an instant:)

    By the way...I would love to sit down with you, over coffee, and look through the brochure. Wish that was possible. But for now, I will use my imagination:)

    Well...I better close for now and get ready for my son's graduation. We have to travel a little over an hour to get there. There are over 300 students in his class that will graduate this evening. We will be there for a little bit!

    Thank you so much for sharing your news with me:)

    Love you my friend...


  17. Sorry E...

    I signed off as me:) instead of T:) and I realized that you may not know who I was:( That is how I sign my emails to my friend that lives 10 minutes away... me:). has been a crazy, hectic week.

    Take care and I will be talking to you soon:) Did you have a nice birthday?


    1. Hello T!
      I love his eyes on the cover too – not so crazy about the rest of it, but yes, I do love the eyes. He had such wonderful, soulful eyes.

      Overall, I think the producers of the album did a good job contemporizing the song, but I have to say that the demo versions, Michael’s versions, are superior to the contemporized songs even though you can clearly tell that some of them are just sketches of songs. I am particularly in love with “Chicago”, which has a sad feel compared to the angrier feel of the contemporized version. I do not think the angry tone suits the song so well.
      My favorites are Love Never Felt So Good, Loving You, A Place With No Name and Xscape. What are your favorites?

      I am glad nothing happened to your father, but I can imagine it must have been quite a scare for all of you. It is a good thing that he was happy to get home. Others might have been scared to go back after something like this.

      My mom has had several encounters with skin cancer and all of them have ended happily. She knows how to spot it early, so apart from a few very faint scars, she has experienced no problems whatsoever. This is just to say that even though your son might have had skin cancer on his lip you should not worry too much (but I know this is exactly what moms do and should do). As long as he knows what to look for and acts on it, then he will be fine. So, don’t worry mama.

      And congratulations on your son’s and daughter’s graduations!
      Well done!

      I have had quite a monster week too so far.
      One of my cats had been missing for a few days, so I was starting to get worried since he ALWAYS comes home in the morning to get his breakfast. Unfortunately, when he finally did come home it was even worse than I feared. He came back in the middle of the night and then sat below my bedroom window, crying his little heart out for me. (He was very attached to me.) I called out for him, but when he did not jump on the window sill, I got really scared. So I went out to get him and found out that he could not walk. His hind legs were not functioning, so basically he was dragging himself along. It broke my heart, because he must have struggled for days to come home to me – and I knew right away that no vet would be able to patch him up.
      So I sat with him all night, holding him in my arms and in the morning we took him to the vet and had him put to sleep. My daughter was heartbroken too, but since he was “my” cat, I think I had the hardest time. What a miserable Monday!

      One really gets attached to those little critters.

      Still, life goes on – and we have a new MJ album. That fact can put a smile on my face at any time.

      Lots of love - and yes, I did have a wonderful brithday enjoying the brochure!


    2. Hi E...

      Which ones are my favorites on Michael's Escape? I LOVE "Love never felt so good", and I guess I just really like all of them, because Michael is sending a message inside them. I am with you on liking Michael's versions the best. That's because they came from Michael's heart...pure and untainted:)

      My Son's report came back negative for Cancer, even though it had the Doctor stumped because he honestly thought it was. He did say it could come back so to keep an eye on it and not let it go if it does.

      Thank you for your well wishes to my children. It was quite a weekend:)

      Oh...bless your heart...I am so sorry to hear about your sweet little cat. They become a part of the family, and they bring us so much joy and unconditional love, and it hurts when we have to say goodbye. We have 2 cats in our barn and one is mine...the other is my daughter's. My cat is all black with green eyes. Her name is "Billy Jean":) She is a mama again. Helped take care of one of her kittens when it was newborn, as she must have gotten scared and left it behind while trying to move it. My daughter found it in the driveway while she was mowing. We took good care of it until the next day when we went out to the barn to feed...hoping she would come up to eat, and she did. When I laid her kitten down at her feet, she intently sniffed it, took it in her mouth and took it off to a safe place. We were so relieved and it was a really precious thing to see....a mama reunited with her baby. It was like she was saying," THERE you are....where have you been??? I've been worried sick about YOU!!!":)

      My girls are out of school now, so we are all adjusting to being together all day again. My youngest said she felt "lost" the first few days without the structure of classes, but soon summer activities will have us so busy we will wish for some free time.

      My son is working full time after getting his degree as an electrician, and also helping my husband and father in law in the field on his days off. We are in planting season right now trying to work around the rain and get our crops in the ground. It means a lot of early mornings, and late nights, and trying to stay connected as a couple and as a family while we go through it.

      Here are some more "friend questions" so I can get to know you better. We have established that we both like coffee, chocolate and sweets, so my next question is.. what is your favorite color or colors?

      Yes...we DO have a new MJ album, and I love the way that feels...the way HE makes me feel:) It's just so exciting for those of us who love and believe in him... to hear something from his heart, as we approach the anniversary of his death...5 could that much time have gone by already??? Sometimes it scares me just how fast our lives spin around.

      Hey...I enjoyed looking through your brochure with you, and hearing Michael playing in the background. So neat:)

      Guess that's about it for now, better go fix some supper...what are you fixing? I am uninspired tonight. It makes it hard to fix meals when we are in the field. We eat in shifts and I don't like that. It is hard to maintain a family unit when we can't all be together at meal time. It's when we share our day with each other and re-connect. But this too shall pass and we will once again be back to normal.

      I haven't had time to even read any of the stories you sent me. I am looking forward to maybe getting to do that a little bit sometime this week:)

      God bless you and your week with your family:)

      Love from your friend...


    3. Hello T,
      I am sorry I have been so slow in getting back to you this time, but life keeps getting in the way. I am really busy at work and also a little extra burdened by the foundation because we are currently looking for a new apartment in Copenhagen. (I am a board member of a foundation, which offers holiday homes to the employees of the company that I am working for.)
      So, I will have to keep it short this time – but still, it is better than silence, right?

      T, I am soooo happy to hear that you son’s report came back negative. I can imagine it must have been a huge relief for all of you.

      I am glad you enjoyed the brochure. I keep it on my nightstand so I can have it close by when I sleep. You know, since I can’t have Michael, I figured this is as close as I will get. *smiles*

      What is my favorite color?
      Hm… Light blue. I have always had a thing for this color – particularly if the tone is a little “dusty.” It suits my fair, Scandinavian skin tone and blonde hair much better than more powerful colors too. Red is a no-no for me, but I love it on Michael. No wait… What am I saying… I love every color on Michael.

      Yeah, the five years since his death have passed really quickly, but I am sure Michael would be happy to know that life still goes on.

      Lots of love – as always


    4. Hi E...

      No need to apologize:) There are days when life gets in my way as well. I am always here for you, and It warms my heart that you took time that you didn't really have to email me. Thank you, my friend. I will admit that I was beginning to worry just a little bit, and hoping that everything was okay with you and your family.

      Thank you:) His lip is healed up now and looking just like new, but now we know that we have to keep an eye out for another episode, and what to do if it does. Yes...we are VERY relieved:)

      So you keep Michael's brochure on your nightstand? You made me smile when you said that since you can't have Michael, this is as close as you will get:) OH.....MY. That IS an entertaining thought, isn't it?

      Light blue? I imagine that you DO look good in that color with your blonde hair:) I agree with you on Michael and loving every color that he wears:) He is just a beautiful person no matter what he wears. That smile of his melts my heart, and I love his pure and childlike:)

      Have been listening to Michael's Escape. I LOVE it:) It energizes me, and touches something way down deep inside of me. I haven't dreamed of him in a long time, but yesterday, when I sat down to rest for a minute...these kids keep me on my toes trying to keep up with their schedules!!!...I closed my eyes and drifted off for a few minutes. During those few minutes, I SAW him, E... like he was standing right there next to me...and I remember what I said to him. He was wearing a dark suit, and his hair was about at his shoulders, and straight, and he smiled at of those smiles like I said made me melt...and I said..."YOU, my friend, are beautiful":) He lifted his eyebrows at me, like he was acknowledging me, and gave me another smile and then I woke from what ever I had just experienced. Whatever is was...It gave me strength and comfort...such comfort:)

      We are trying to finish up planting our crops. It makes it hard to do when it rains every other day, and it is cooler than usual for this time of year. God is good to us, and He always provides. That doesn't mean we don't have to trust Him completely because this is a walk of faith for the right weather and right amount of moisture,but we wouldn't have it any other way:)

      Oh...I saw on the internet a group of fellas that played "Billy Jean" on bottles. They did a good job, and if I understood right, they were from Denmark:) Have you seen it? Maybe not with your busy schedule. I just thought it was neat:)

      Better go for now. Take care and I will be talking to you soon:)

      Love from your friend...


    5. T, my friend,
      You said just the right thing to Michael when he came to you in your dream. Whether a product of your imagination or of something beyond our comprehension telling him that he is beautiful is the most important thing. He cannot hear that too often. He needs to hear it.
      It is not every time that we are able to tell him anything in our dreams, so you did well. :)

      Your account of the dream made me smile. It sound just like one of those dreams I have had from time to time. Just a short encounter and then he is gone - often without saying anything.
      Ah, what a blissful dream! Actually I have a word for a dream like that - a SMD - a Sweet Michael Dream. I sometimes say that to fellow fans instead of sweet dreams. :)

      Planting crops must be a lot of hard work, isn't it?
      What exactly are you planting? Corn? Yes, here I go being curious again.
      Corn is not very common in Denmark but there are quite a few corn fields around the twon where I live - and more are coming every year. I think most of it is fed to livestock because the corn does not get anywhere near the size and quality of US corn. (Which I like to eat too - American style.)

      Yes, I have seen them play "Billie Jean" on bottles, but I was not aware they were Danish. Well, well. well... That just makes it even more impressive. :)

      With this being planting season, I guess you don't have time to read a lot, but if you manage to sneak in a chapter here and there, I would very much like to leave this link for you, so you don't have to ask me for new chapters: **
      Just mouse over the pictures (start from the bottom) and then click the chapter you want to read. They are ALL there - including all the enounters.


      Lots of love from your Danish friend


    6. Sorry 'bout the spelling mistakes - was in a hurry! A great show was coming up on TV! :)

    7. Hi E...

      Thank you for your insight. He IS beautiful and at that moment, his beauty filled my heart, and I had to tell him:) Yes...that is exactly the way I would describe it...A SMD:) He made me feel "comforted"... like being wrapped up in a warm blanket when I'm chilled to the he wrapped his love around me:) I have written a song entitled "When you wrap your love around me". My husband and Michael were my inspiration. I received that inspiration as I was walking one day, enjoying God's beautiful creation out here in the country where we live. Came back to my keyboard and the song was born:)

      Yes...planting crops takes a lot faith and trust in God to give us the weather we need so our crops will flourish. There are many late nights and early mornings as we prepare the earth to plant the seed, and the reward comes when we see a beautiful "stand" after those long hours, and we reap a bountiful harvest. But then there are years when a storm will come through and totally devastate our crops, and that is heartbreaking . There are a lot of tears and prayers behind the scenes that only God knows.But even with the heartbreak, farming is at the center of my husband's heart and he wouldn't trade it for anything:) What do we plant? We plant Corn and Soybeans and raise Cattle.Do you like corn on the cob? We love that when it comes due. To me there is nothing better than a grilled burger with fresh corn on the cob, and sliced tomatoes and cucumbers from our garden. We slice our cucumbers thin, with slices of onion and add salt and pepper and put them in a dish and cover them with a mixture of vinegar and water...kind of like pickles, I guess. My family LOVES them this way. It is one of our favorite summer meals:) Have you ever had breaded, fried Zucchini? Oh my...what a yummy treat THAT is:) We really enjoy our garden and I do a lot of canning....tomato juice, salsa, and green beans are our mainstays, so summer is a busy time around here:)

      Oh......thank you SO much for the link for your new chapters and encounters!!!:):):) I feel like a little girl on Christmas Morning, and what a sweet gift. You are so kind. I will enjoy...yes, I will:) When I get a free minute, I know what I will be doing, but you are right, right now, I am not getting much free time to read, but now I know that I have a tremendous TREAT waiting for me when I get the time:)

      Guess I better go for now so I can get into town and get my shopping done. When all my kids are home for the summer, I seem to go through more food than usual:)

      Take care of yourself and may God bless you and your family in the week to come:)

      Much Love from your friend in the states....


    8. E... you have me concerned. I understand that you will be leaving your blog up, as long as you can. I know that it is getting harder to talk about Michael, even for us, and we have moved on to sharing our story and our lives with each other from there,which is a good thing:) But for the both of us, the frequency of which we share is getting to be longer in between.Life happens, and we are both busy with our families, and that's the way it should be. We have become friends, and I look forward to talking with you whenever you can write. I will always be thankful for the day our paths crossed, and how Michael brought us together, so I am hoping that we have a while yet before that "door" is closed. Whatever happens, please know how much you have touched my life:)

      Your friend always...



    9. T, my friend,
      Don’t worry. It is not like I am closing the blog or withdrawing from the Internet. I have just come to realize that as long as Neverland “lies dormant” waiting for someone - most likely one of Michael’s children – to bring her back to life, I will have only very little to report. I have pretty much run out of pictures and articles by now and I’d rather give you the good stuff that might pop up from time to time rather than feed you with posts of poor quality.
      As I wrote, finding new material is also becoming very time consuming (I probably have 99% of the pictures published), so basically I am looking for a needle in a haystack now - and I am sure you can understand how frustrating it is to log off empty handed after searching for hours.

      So, I thought it was time to draw a line in the sand so to speak.
      But hey, I am still here!

      Okay, back to your previous post…
      Do I like corn on the cob? Yes, I do, but actually it is hard to find in Denmark. Most of our corn is fed to livestock, so the corn we can buy in the shops is usually imported and only available for a relatively short period of time. But I do like it so I always buy some when I get the chance.
      Zucchini is great pretty much no matter what you do to it. :)

      It sounds as if you’ve got a lot of good stuff growing in your garden. We have a fairly big garden (compared to other villa gardens in Denmark – I am sure it is but the size of a stamp compared to what you have), but I am afraid that we are too lazy to grow anything in it but…grass. Well… At least the grass is nice and green.
      We do have a flower beds too with petunias, hydrangeas, impatiens new guinea, roses and rhododendrons – yes, I like it colorful. I also grow olive trees, lemon trees, fig trees and different palm trees in pots, so I’ve got quite a Mediterranean thing going in my back yard. Escapism? Probably. :)
      I’ve been growing California poppies too, but they don’t like the wet Danish climate so sadly I’ve had to give up on them. Sigh… They were so pretty and so very orange – and like a piece of Neverland in my own garden. (They grow wild in the hills around Neverland.)

      I’ve got two weeks of work left and then I am going to be off for three weeks. Oh boy… I can hardly wait!
      Still, it is not like I am going to spend all three weeks on my back. We are going to renovate two of the rooms in our house and turn one of them into a nice office for our daughter and the other one into a guest room. And then I am going to watch Tour de France – something that I’ve been doing for quite some time. I love the French landscape. Escapism again… *laughs*

      Okay, I see time is ticking away…and I am supposed to be at work.
      I’d better stop for now.
      Talk to you soon!



    10. Hi E...

      Thank you for easing my mind, and yes, I do understand:)

      It sounds like you like flowers. I think they are so pretty, but I seem to have a "black thumb" when it comes to raising them. I can't seem to keep flowers alive. When my Mother was living, she had such beautiful flowers. It seems to be her thing to make things grow and flourish. That is why I gave her flowers, and plants to friends who possessed the same gift after she passed away. I couldn't bare to see them die. They were somehow a extension of who she was. Music is my strength. I absolutely love it....Southern Gospel, Some contemporary Worship music, country, R&B, soft rock, and some of the Pop music...especially of the "King of Pop" brand:) I could never quite "get into" classical. How about you...what kinds of music do you like?

      Escapism? Oh yes...definately. I think we all have "some of that going on." I call it my "happy place" that I like to go to when I need a break from the world and all it's nonsense, and when I need to get away from some of the people that INHABIT it, that like to cause me grief. Michael is part of my "escape." He brings me so much JOY, and THAT is a very, very GOOD thing:) There is just something GOOD that happens to my heart whenever I listen to him, whether he is singing, or speaking. I really like to see him "behind the scenes" hear his voice... the way he gives instructions to his crew...never "puffed up"... a "musical genius" just making known what he needs done, with a lot of love...the way he interacts with people. I LOVE that, there are days when I can't get enough of him it seems:) I enjoy talking about him. I guess it helps to keep him close, but it is so hard to find someone who wants to listen, because they don't understand. I think that is one of the reasons why we just seem to "click"...because of our mutual appreciation for Michael. That is why I will always need to talk to you about him, because you are the only one in my life who understands that need. I continue to learn more and more about who he really was, and is, and always will be, and when that knowledge comes, it brings tears with it, because I feel him, and sometimes...his loneliness. He could be in a room full of people, yet still feel lonely inside, and disconnected.I totally get that. But I have so much to be thankful for, even on those difficult days. I am so thankful for my faith in God, and for His love that daily gives me strength, my family, my friends, and my Michael... because you all are my treasures:)

      Sounds like you've got your work cut out for you on your time off, but I can tell by the little spark I hear as you tell me about it that you are looking forward to it:) There is nothing like that feeling of accomplishment when you start out on a project, especially renovation, and then see the finished product when it is completed:)

      Tour de France? What is that? I took 2 years of French in High School. A foreign language was required...either French or Spanish, and I chose French. I can still remember some of the words and phrases and like to tease my kids with them. They, in turn, like to try it out on their friends. It is a beautiful language and flows so eloquently.

      Better go for now, so take care of yourself, and every day try to make time do something that you love to do:) Why? because life is so short and time passes by so quickly, that we need to take time to stop and smell the roses:)

      Love to you my friend...


    11. Hello T!
      Yes, I like flowers - particularly tropic flowers. Still love does not always seem to be enough - I just can't seem to keep orchids alive for very long. I seriously don't know what I am doing wrong. My mother is soooo good at it, and I try to do the same but... No. They just do not want to live in my house.

      To me the highest form of escapism is writing or storytelling. I've done it for as long as I can remember. As a kid it was sometimes to keep myself from getting seasick when I was sailing with my parents. I could go on and on for hours - annoying my parents, no doubt - but they never said anything because they knew it kept my focus on other things than the yacht going up and down the waves.
      As I grew up, I've often used storytelling or writing as a means to let off steam or to deal with emotional hardships - which is why I started writing all the MJ inspired stories as well of course. I needed to get his death out of my system somehow - and I am. I am no longer afraid of the day where the stories must end.

      Tour the France is a professional bicycle race. Lance Armstrong (one of your fellow Americans) have won it 7 times as far as I recall. However, he did so with the aid of doping. Still the same thing goes for the Dane who won the race back in 1996, so I am not pointing fingers here. :)
      I had French classes for 5 years, but I hardly remember anything. I was not very good at it either, but that does not keep me from being a bit fascinated by it. It really is a beautiful language.

      Stop and smell the roses...
      Yes, we need to remember that - and starting this Friday I will have plenty of time to do so!
      (Apart from that room we need to fix, but that's okay. *smiles*)

      Have a nice week, T!
      And thank you once again for being my friend and for keeping this blog alive with your insightful and sweet comments.


  18. E...

    Michael has been on my mind so much. Today we gather together to remember Michael's life and his passing. Five years ago, He took a piece of our hearts home with him when he left, and because He has touched our lives and our hearts with his soul, we will never ever be the same again. Now, we have the privilege of paying his love forward by passing His faith and His Mission along to the rest of the world. Much love to you my friend,, and for all time...and much love to you my friend, E, as we continue to honor his legacy.



    1. Hi E...

      My children are all home with my husband and I, and we are enjoying celebrating the 4th of July this weekend. Making precious memories along the way that I treasure because I know that very soon, they will be walking out my door, to begin their own lives. I am honored for the privilege to have had them entrusted to my heart and to my care, and to teach them right from wrong and instill values in them that will guide them in their own adult lives. My son is 20, and oldest daughter is 18 and my youngest daughter is 15, so I will still have her home with me for a few years yet. When she started school, I wrote a song about having an "empty nest", at least during the day when they were all at school, and I had mothers of college age kids say that it hit them pretty hard, too. I didn't know what that felt like at that point, but I am learning.

      I can see where writing would be a neat way to escape. It could really take you anywhere, any place and with anyone you wanted to go, and you my friend, do it so well:) My girls used to write stories when they were young. They loved it, and so I have notebooks full of their stories.They both have active imaginations, which I feel was fueled by the way they would play...making believe and pretend. Writing songs is my outlet. When my kids were little, they were like "stair steps" all a couple years apart, and to stay sane somedays, I discovered writing songs about all our experiences along the a way of documenting, and keeping a musical journal. Then God brought Michael into my life 5 years ago, and I began writing about that journey. He has been my inspiration for many songs. The writing has slowed down now, but for a while they were coming so fast that I would just pick up a pen and reach for paper and start writing down what God gave me. I totally understand when Michael meant when He said the songs were already written when they were given to him:)

      I saw the Tour de France advertising on tv the other day, and I thought of you:)

      Wanna hear about my Michael Moment last night? We had gone to see the fireworks and were waiting for them to start and they were playing music loud enough that you could make out who it was, but not overdoing it, when all of the sudden this beautiful voice came flowing across the hillside..."Gonna make a change, for once in my life". I couldn't believe it. Out of all the artists that they could have chosen, they chose Michael. It was beautiful, and what a wonderful message in that song for us all. We were sitting there under a beautiful canopy of dark blue, stars and a glowing moon, and I just laid my head back against my lawn chair and took him in, and thanked God for the freedom that my family and I can enjoy and for those who gave their lives so we could be free.It was an awesome moment:)

      Are you enjoying your time off? I have been thinking of you:)

      Better go for now. You take care and thank you for your kind words:) Your friendship is a special place in my "Michael friend to another". You know why? Because we can share things with each other that others just don't get, because they just don't "get" Michael.We are blessed for that gift. You know...Michael said that when we miss him, to listen to his music because the LOVE is stored there and it can never die. That explains how I feel this wave of love wash over me and JOY, whenever I listen to his music:)

      God Bless!

      Love from your friend in the states...


    2. Hello T!
      Yes, I am enjoying my time off - although I have to say that I have not had much time to sit down and relax yet. My daughter's boyfriend has been staying with us since Thursday, so I have found myself in constant "guest mode" ever since he arrived. It is not that I am complaining at all, having guests in the house just requires a little extra. :)

      We have been out and about a lot too - yesterday we went to a safari park - but today is going to be a stay at home day, mainly because the weather has changed for the worse. Torrential rain is expected - a perfect excuse to watch the Tour de France all day.

      Did I ever tell you that I used to compete in bicycle races as well?
      I did - 20 years and just as many kilos ago. :)
      Now you know where my interest in bycyckle races comes from.
      I was actually quite good at it, but decided to stop because I was spending too many times on the road when I was supposed to study for my major. (I was tired of constantly dieting too, if I have to be completely honest. Yes, you know I love food.)

      How wonderful that they played Man in The Mirror! I guess that song really means a lot to more than just the fans. At my daughter's school they always sing it before school is out for the summer.

      It is almost lunch time here - so I'd better go. I have hungry mouths to feed!
      (My goodness... A 16-year-old boy eats sooooo much! LOL!)

      Lots of love


    3. Hi E...

      Good to hear that you are enjoying your time off:) The safari park sounds like fun. Did you get the rain like you expected? didn't tell me that you used compete in bicycle races, but that's okay cause I enjoy learning new things about my friend:)

      It has been 5 years since we lost Michael and I was wondering if you still have "Michael moments." I am having them now more than ever before, and sometimes they take my breath away because my mind says, "This can NOT be happening...but my heart says...Oh Yes it IS!" Have you seen the commercial about summer time and there is this white jeep driving down the road and Michael's song kicks in..." never felt so good..." then they say that Summer never felt so good. It thrills me that a whole new generation is learning about Michael, his amazing talent and his sweet heart:) My daughter loves his new "Escape" CD. We have it playing while we are working in the kitchen together and we have picked out some harmony parts, which isn't hard because Michael is singing them all for us, and he brings us a lot of Joy during those moments. We were picking green beans last night after supper and she started quietly singing "Loving You". She sang it quietly and soon I was joining in with her. My husband doesn't "understand" Michael and we don't see "eye to eye" where he is concerned. I wish that I could share Michael with him. I keep hoping that maybe someday he will see Michael's heart. But then again it makes me wonder if he is supposed to. I think those whose hearts are "ready" to be opened to Michael, are the hearts that he is able to touch. What do you think? My son surprised me yesterday when he asked me what Michael's new CD was called and did I have it. I told him it is "Escape" and yes....I have both versions. He said that he saw it at Walmart a couple nights ago and knew that they had run out and if I had been able to get one yet. I told him that they got a whole new shipment in. I thought it was sweet of him to notice:)

      Ah yes...trying to "fill up" a teen age boy is not easy, I know. I usually go shopping on Friday and there are times...between my hubby and my son, because they both are "good eaters" working on the farm, when I am running low again by Monday! This week my fridge got really empty and I am getting through because I have food in the freezer, but my snacks and perishable things are just about gone. Glad that it is shopping day again. Last week I spent $80 dollars on groceries and I couldn't tell you where it went!

      Guess that's about it for now. Haven't had much time to get back to reading, but I am looking forward to it. Hey...when I clicked on the picture of the story I wanted to read, all I got was a picture. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I will keep trying. I feel bad because you went to all that work and I can't get it to give me your story.

      You know...I am so glad that we are still writing to each Michael has kept us connected and through him, we have become friends who share their hearts and their world with each other. I think that would make me very happy:)

      Better go for now, so have a wonderful weekend, and God bless you and your family:)

      Love from your friend in the states...


    4. Hi T,
      Yes we did get rain, but since then Denmark has been hotter and drier than Death Valley. :)
      No, seriously it has been unusually hot and sunny for this place, which is also the reason why I have been so slow getting back to you. The computer has simply been the last thing on my mind. Instead I have spent as much time out in the sun as possible - when I wasn't busy renovating the room or watching the Tour de France (sometimes I even watched the race from the garden.)
      I love warm weather. It is so rare where I live, so whenever it does happen and I am off from work I try to make the most of it.
      Still we did finish renovating the room today, so tomorrow my daughter will move into her new "office." She is very excited as I am sure you can imagine.

      I am afraid that I have not seen the Jeep Commercial and this time I can't blame it on the weather. Jeep is simply not big enough in Denmark to run commercials here, but of course I have heard that they use Michael's music in it. How could I not? It was all over Twitter when the commercial was first broadcast. (Yes, I am on Twitter too.)

      I agree. If you are not "ready" to open your heart and soul to Michael, he is not going to touch you. He likes wide open doors - not the ones he has to pry open I think. :)

      If the picture links still don't work for you just tell me what you want to read and I'll post the links for you here. They should work though. Did you try scrolling down? Or perhaps another browser? It works for me in both Internet Explorer and Chrome.

      Okay, hubby wants to watch the sunset from our gazebo - I'd better join him. I noticed he brought two wine glasses. :)

      I hope next time I will have more time to write to you.

      Love from warm and sunny Denmark


    5. Hi E...

      How are you? I have been thinking about you, but life has been happening around here and I just haven't been able to gather my thoughts enough to write, and this morning you were on my mind, and I just wanted to "drop by" and say hi at least:) HI:)

      My son had surgery for the second time in 2 months for the abnormal growth that has been growing on his lip. After the first surgery, it returned and so his surgeon went in deeper on Monday and thinks he got the core of it. It mocks cancer, but it isn't. Has the surgeon stumped. Praying that he will get a good report when we return for a follow up on the 11th.

      Can you believe it is Aug1st already? I have to register my youngest daughter for school on Monday and then her first day is on the 15th. It gets earlier every year.

      We move our oldest daughter into her college dorm on the Aug 16th. She is excited, and we prepared her for this day, but we will miss her so much. Her little sister...who is almost 16...will miss her, too, as they are not only sisters the best of friends. She will only be a couple hours from home, so she can come home on the weekends whenever her schedule allows.

      My son is in between jobs and has two companies interested and interviewing him at the present time. Both are good opportunities, so he said the first one to tell him he is hired, will be the one he chooses. He is learning what it is like to be an adult, and he told his sisters not to rush "growing up" because "growing up" isn't as easy as it looks:)

      How does your daughter like her new office? I can just imagine the fun she is having decorating it to her liking:)

      I mentioned that my son had surgery...well, they gave him Propofol to put him out and it made that kid so "loopy" it wasn't funny. He was under the influence for 24 hours and we told him some of the things he said and did, but he doesn't remember it. My husband and I were discussing the effect it had on our son and he asked me if Michael Jackson took this stuff all the time to sleep. Wow....didn't see that one coming. I don't blame him for wondering, because I couldn't help but think of Michael as well. You recall that I don't discuss Michael with him because he doesn't "understand" him? So I was caught off guard. I gathered my composure and told him about Michael's problem with sleeping and how it was hard for him to get any rest, so he had to have some help. Michael's name has come up a lot around my home recently, and it makes me wonder why...why now? For years I have kept him to myself where my family is concerned. My kids all know how much I "appreciate" him, and my youngest daughter and I can share his music together...she LOVES his ESCAPE CD...and she lets me "chatter" to her about what I find in my "Michael research".


    6. We haven't had a good rain in over 4 weeks, and it is getting to the point where our crops are showing that they really need it. Farming is a "faith" walk with God. We have to trust Him for the right weather for our crops, which is our living, Some years there is TOO MUCH rain and our crops are flooded out, and we have to start all over again and replant, which is very expensive, and some years it is TOO DRY, and our crops suffer and don't yield what they should, but you know what? No matter what comes, God always sees us through and takes care of us. Sometimes that means believing Him for the things we cannot see, or touch, and hope opens up the eyes of faith:) I have a Mama cow who is my favorite.Her name is "Mama Bandy", and she is black with a while "splotch" on her tummy. She has had 2 calves so far, and one is black with a perfect white band around his middle and his name is,"Moe Bandy" and her latest calf is black with just a sliver of white on it's side, and it's name is, "Ban-daid":) We have 2 kitty cats in the barn, one is my youngest daughter's..."Josie", and one is mine. Mine is black with green eyes and her name is B.J....short for...that's guessed it..."Billy Jean." We have an adorable golden retriever named "Dolly", and she I think she is more human than dog. She is my hubby's "girl". When he's in the house, she is on his lap on the couch...otherwise she is on my youngest daughter's lap, and I do her the recliner...with her rump hanging off the side:) Her only goal in life is to have someone play ball with her. She LOVES it, and her treats, of course...she REALLY loves those. I also enjoy my hummingbirds. They are very "territorial" and fight for a place at the feeder, even though there are plenty of places to get a drink. When they fight, they sound like a bunch of "bumble bees!" They can go through a feeding pretty quick, and if they run out, they "hover" in front of my kitchen window, by their feeder, as if to say, "Hey Mom...we need some more food!" I have a lot of other birds that live in our Pine tree by our kitchen window...Cardinals, blue jays, red-headed woodpeckers, bluebirds, little sparrows and many more that I'm not sure of. I love to listen to all of their songs, and sometimes they can get a bit loud...especially at 5o'clock in the morning and they are just waking they think everybody else should be too! That's okay, cause I am up every morning at 5a anyway to get breakfast for my husband before sending him off to work. I wouldn't have to get up, but he is making our living and I feel it's a way to show him how much I love him and appreciate what he does for his family. I am a stay at home mom, and I keep busy taking care of my family between Church, School and home, and I love it that way:)

      Well...I guess I have rambled on long enough...just thought I would give you a little insight into what my home is like:) How about you? Are you inside the city, or more toward the country?

      Better go. Today is shopping day and we have to go at least 20 miles away to shop. My daughter likes it when I let her drive. She has to get so many hours in of on the road experience before she can get her driver's license on her birthday in December, so I let her drive and she is doing really well. She has already experienced several situations that were "nerve racking", so I am proud of her progress:) She is my last one to teach, and that is probably a good thing because I'm not as young as I used to be! We always bring Michael with us to jam with as we are traveling:)

      It's been very "nourishing" Michael would say...visiting with you. Looking forward to hearing from you when you get the time. Have a wonderful week and God bless you and your family in all that you do:)

      Love ya!


    7. Hi T!
      I love the names of your cows. "Ban-daid" made me laugh out loud. Great sense of humor!
      My cats are called Perseus, Bella and Fie. Perseus is not much of a Greek god though. He is a lazy, white and red cat, who loves to cuddle with me in my bed – and pretty much nothing else. :)

      So, what does it look like where I live?
      Well, I guess the best way to describe it so you might actually get an idea is to say that the whole area around here looks like one big suburb with relatively quiet roads, homes and gardens. It is not a suburb though. It is the way most small cities look in Denmark. There’s no heavy industry around here, but we do have a business area on the fringes of my town (near the main highway), where you’ll typically find automobile dealers, IT companies and other “nice” businesses – nice meaning “does not pollute.”

      My town is situated by the sea – a narrow strait in fact – and on the island of Funen, which is the second biggest island in the country. We have two bridges here that link us to mainland Denmark – a railroad bridge and a highway bridge. They are both called the Little Belt Bridge, although to avoid confusion the highway bridge is often referred to as the New Belt Bridge.
      You can read more about them here if you like:

      We also have a nice lighthouse:

      The nearest big town is Odense, where Hans Christian Andersen, the author of “The Ugly Duckling” and many other great fairy tales, was born in 1805.
      Still Denmark is a REALLY small country, so we can get to the capital Copenhagen in just two hours and to the northernmost tip of the country in no more than three hours from here. The German border is just an hour’s drive away. Yeah… We must look ridiculously small to you. I mean, Denmark would probably fit into your state ten times. :)
      (Until you remember that Greenland is Denmark too. Then we probably don’t fit in anywhere.)
      I hope you got an idea of what it looks like around here.

      Do you remember that you said that we don’t talk so much about Michael anymore?
      I do, and so when I stumbled across something I wrote two years ago, I thought I would share it with you. (I hope you haven’t read it before. Maybe you have… I can’t remember… There are so many posts on this blog.) Anyway, it is called “Michael - my magic potion” and it puts to words my very special relationship with Michael.
      I thought it might help us get a good “Michael talk.”

      I am keeping my fingers crossed for just the right amount of rain for your crops!

      Love – as always

  19. Oh E...

    I read your "Michael-my magic potion", and it is absolutely precious. Now I know there is reason for why we have been brought Michael, but also, what he does to our hearts. I didn't "meet Michael until after he died. But I felt that pull that drawing to find out just who he really was and even though I stand alone where he is concerned in my life, he is so worth it. As I have researched him, "peeling back the layers" he has become such a source of JOY, and he has become so very precious to me. I love my husband and the Lord with all my heart, but I also love Michael. I truly believe that he had a gift from God...not only to share with the world the IMMENSE talent that God blessed him with, but the ability to touch hearts and lives and to heal wounds like no other human could ever do. Does that makes sense? I have experienced his healing in my life. Whenever I don't feel good, or I am tired and need inspiration, I put in his music and IMMEDIATELY I feel this flow of JOY wash over me, and there is no other explanation, in my heart, but that Michael's love heals, and that he was also blessed with a ministry of healing. There are those who may never know him like we know him, because their hearts aren't on his frequency, and I don't think that's their's just that they haven't been chosen to FEEL him...and we have, and what a blessing it is to be chosen. Can I share my testimony with you? I don't want to offend you, but I feel it's time to share what happened to me about 5 years ago. I am trusting that you have given me that permission? we go. Five years ago, I was living my life, or thinking that I was living it, but really, I was "drying up" inside...going through the motions. I loved my husband, and my family, and the Lord, but it seemed like I was just "going through the motions" in my relationship with HIM. God chose to use Michael to be the vehicle through which He would "wake me up", and show me where I was and where I needed to be. Through Michael, He changed my heart and made me so aware of His Presence in my life, and made me aware of who He really was. Growing up, I was raised with a list of do's and don'ts as far as God was concerned, and that is how I saw Him. But through Michael's Words and his music, I learned that I had kept God in a box and thought I knew everything about how He moved and worked in our lives. I was so wrong. In the last 5 years, He has shown me so much about the DEPTH of His Love, and His creativity in how He reaches out to me, and to all of us, and that I should never limit Him, to a list of do's and don'ts, because THAT is NOT who He is. I discovered Michael's faith through the website "Reflections on the dance", and that knowledge led me to a whole new way of seeing Michael, and the man he really is. My life has been changed because of this Journey that I have been on with God and Michael, and I will never be the same again:) Thank you for allowing me to share "My Journey" with you, my friend.:)

    I will write more later, but I just needed to let you know how precious it is to be your friend, and to know how Michael has touched your heart and your life. Thank you for sharing that with me:)


    1. T, you make perfect sense - and no, you do not offend me at all.
      You see, everything you say, I could say too. I just leave God out of the equation, so to speak, but it doesn't make a difference (at least not on a practical level). The effect is clearly the same.

      Michael is my pillar of strength, my hope and inspiration. He set an example, which makes me keep on walking when life takes a turn down a bumpy road - and do so without complaining, because I know that what I face is nothing compared to what he faced in his life.

      He stopped my heart from turning to stone.
      There was a time when I shut off and stopped caring, because it also shut off the pain caused by people and situations that I couldn't cope with the way I wanted to, but here too, Michael set a great example to follow: Never stop caring no matter what it might cost. Always meet people with an open heart. Accept and embrace differences. Be positive.
      I thought it would be hard, but the truth is that it has made my life so much easier.

      He gives me hope.
      "Everything is going to be okay." I still remember the dream I had and I firmly believe in what he told me that night.

      He comforts me and keeps me safe and warm. Just a flash of his smile or a picture of him holding a fan close, cupping the back of her head with his big hand... *sigh* It is like sitting in front of the fireplace on a snowy winter day with a cup of hot chocolate... :)

      I have a different way of saying it, but what we experience is the same.



  20. Hi E...

    Life has certainly been happening around our house these days. Have you heard of the riots in Ferguson, Missouri? Well...that is just across the Interstate from where my daughter is going to college. We moved her in on Saturday and we were very concerned for her safety. She is attending St. Louis Christian College and she is very excited to get started. Today is her first day of actual classes. Up until this point, the college has been taking the new incoming freshmen around the community and getting them used to their new surroundings and to each other. The President of the College assured us of her safety as well as all of the other students attending there this Fall. They have added serious security measures, and called for curfews at night for a while until all of these anger issues settle down. Hoping and praying for that to come soon, and we trust God to bring that to pass and to keep our daughter in His love and care. She is studying missions and urban cultures and she is getting a firsthand taste of that already. Yes...there is a very real element of danger, but she wants to be a missionary and share the Gospel of Jesus Christ and His love with others, so we feel if God has placed this calling on her life, that He will take good care of her. He loves her even more than we do, and that has to be a tremendous love, so we know that she is in good hands as we entrust her to His Will.

    I can't tell you how it touched my heart to read what you sent me concerning Michael. It just amazes me how we both have been touched by Michael's love in so many of the same ways. I feel like I have known you all my how is that possible? It's like Michael has written our story for us, and we have found that we have always been on the same chapter, and we didn't even know it. I love how you said,"He stopped my heart from turning to stone." YES....that is EXACTLY it. You see.. I had built such a strong wall around my heart and because of that wall, my heart became cold, because I wouldn't allow myself to feel, or allow anything or anyone access behind that wall that could leave me vulnerable ever again. But then I met Michael when he passed...does that make sense???... and I found his love IS real and genuine and little by little, through Michael's music, and the message that I found there, his love broke through that wall and opened the floodgates to my heart. I cried like I haven't cried in years...unable to hold it back. And then God would walk through the rooms of my heart, asking me "What's in there?"...and I would tell Him..."Oh no,'s nothing I can't handle"...but then He would say..."Let's take a look", and gave me the key to the lock that opened the door...Michael was the key. Never in a million years would I have I ever dreamed that the Lord would choose to use Michael to "open my heart", but he did, and continues to do so. So how does a man who passed away 5 years ago, continue to reach out and touch us like this, E? His love is phenomenal and something we just can't explain...God's gift to us and to so many more around the whole world. That is what really grabs my heart, because we aren't alone...there are so many who are on the exact same chapter that we can that be??? The only explanation that even begins to come close for me, is that love lives forever, and transcends the boundaries of time, and when he said his love would never die...that's exactly what he meant. We still FEEL him, because he is connected to our hearts...he never left us because he is still in our hearts and his love will always remain...forever.

    God bless you and keep you this week my friend:)



    1. Yes T,
      I have heard of the riots in Ferguson. They have made front page news in Denmark as well.
      I don't know what to say, really. What is happening there is light years from everything I know. Last year, the Danish police fired a total of 46 shots, most of which were warning shots. No one was killed. Yes, we do have problems with crime - as does everybody these days - and sadly we see some religious based violence in the big cities partly due to a very large and not very well integrated Muslim minority, but trigger happy police men, riots and looting are unheard of here. They simply do not exist.
      I am sad to say so - and I don't mean to sound condescending at all - but Denmark is a bit of a fairy tale country compared to many other nations. (Until you see our crazy taxes - but that's a very different story, of course.)

      I really hope your daughter is safe.
      The riots have started to calm down a bit, haven't they?

      Yes, I agree. Michael does seem to give a kind of love that transcends the boundaries of time - not even his departure from this world seems to be able to stop it. Pretty amazing... And hard to make sense of, really. But then again... Why should we even try? It is much better to just accept that it is - and enjoy it while we can.

      Tomorow is his birthday - are you going to do anything special to celebrate it?
      Up until now I have usually celebrated his birthdays by baking birthday cakes and watching all my DVDs in case no MJ TV specials were on, but this year, I think I am just going to light a candle for him and think about what a remarkable person he was.

      Love - as always


    2. Hi E..

      Time is marching on. Can't believe it is September 6th already. What is new with you?

      My daughter called home from college last night and we all got to talk to her. Yes...the riots are calming down now, and for that I am so grateful. If we all could learn to listen to each other, and work together and respect our differences, I think a great healing would come. I asked her if college is overwhelming and she said that it wasn't... it was just taking time to adjust to a new schedule,and that it is so different from high school. My youngest daughter adores her big sister so she keeps in touch with her through facebook. They are not only sisters...they are best friends. I never had any brothers or sisters. My Mom went through serious complications having me, so her doctor told her that she shouldn't have any more children. I learned alot about what was normal for siblings watching my three kids grow up together. How about you have any brothers or sisters?

      My son got a new job that he loves and it pays very well with good benefits. It is about an hour's drive from here, so he is looking into a house to rent that isn't far from where he works...especially as we get closer to winter and the possibility of bad weather making the roads dangerous to travel on. He will be 21 in November and although he enjoys living here with us, he is ready to get his own place, and I don't blame him for that. He lived in his own apartment while he attended college, and I think he misses that. After he graduated, he went to work on our farm with his dad and grandpa for the summer and while that helped both of them out, he is ready for his own life now. He has stayed with us during that time, to help save some money up, and he has always been very respectful of the way we live, but just having your own space to do your own thing when you feel like it is so nice. Especially when he loves music and plays his guitars frequently:)

      My youngest...which will be 16 in December and counting the days until she gets her license... is in her Sophomore year of High School and she is carrying quite a heavy load of studies this year. So far she is handling it pretty good. She is taking Spanish, so as I help her study for her tests, I am learning Spanish, too:) I took French, and it seems to me to be harder than French was. That's what my friends, who had already taken Spanish, told me when I was trying to decide whether to take Spanish or French. Now I wish I had taken Spanish because I feel like I could have put it to better use now.

      Did I do anything special to celebrate Michael's birthday? Nothing out of the ordinary. I guess you could say that I "celebrate him" every day:) My husband doesn't "get" Michael so, in order not to "cross that bridge" between my hubby and me, because HE is the love of my know what I mean?... I don't go there. I stand alone when it comes to Michael. I just lit a candle for him in my heart and wished him a very Happy Birthday. Yes...he was a remarkable person, and isn't it wonderful that a whole new generation is being exposed to just how remarkable he was???:) For the longest time, after Michael passed, and all the media coverage died down, that it seemed that Michael had truly disappeared from off the face of the planet. And then "Escape" was released and he was literally everywhere. In fact, I am listening to "Love never felt so good" right now as I am typing to you:) What an inspiration he is to me:) The "cry" in his voice just gets me and gives me this "warm....fuzzy....feeling.":) hubby just came home so I better go for now.

      Take care and have a good weekend.

      Love you friend...


    3. Hi T,
      Yes, it’s September already and the colors of the leaves have started to change here. Nightfall comes early too – at least compared to just a few months ago, when the sun didn’t set until after 10 pm. Now we need to turn on the light at around 7 pm, which I find a little depressing to be perfectly honest. You see, I am not a great fan of fall or winter. Summer all year round sounds much better to me.
      I guess I live in the wrong part of the world.

      I am an only child just like you. My mother was pregnant with a boy before she got me, but sadly she slipped on an icy sidewalk when she was six months pregnant and aborted later that week. We don’t know if she would have lost the baby if she had not slipped and fallen, but chances are she would at some point, because the doctors said the fall shouldn’t have caused her to lose the baby in the first place. It probably just triggered the abortion to come earlier.
      We will never know for sure, though.
      My mother then went through a terrible delivery having me, so after that I think she decided that enough was enough.

      I never felt like I was missing out on anything being an only child. Well, perhaps a little back-up from a sibling when my parents dug their heels in the ground and told me “no.” I heard that a lot. No, no, no, no, no... Not because I was naughty, but because they went out of their way to make sure I didn’t end up being spoiled. It was a bit too much, if you ask me, Not that it hurt me, but I have never been so strict with my daughter, who is an only child to. It is not that I give her everything she wants – far from it actually – but I do allow her to influence what we buy when we go shopping for groceries for instance. I mean, she is nearly 16… She should learn what to buy and not to buy too and the only way to do that is to involve her.

      At 21 I would say most nestlings are ready to fly from the nest – and since your son has already had a “taste of freedom” I think it is only natural for him to want to have his own place. I moved out of my parents’ house when I was 19 to attend college in another part of the country. I’ve never returned since then – but I do love to visit and get pampered with one of my mother’s good, home-cooked meals.

      Spanish is a great language. I love it. And if you ask me, it is much easier than French, which really had me struggling during my high school years. I’ve never had any formal training in Spanish, but whenever I go to Spain (about once every two years), I try to put the few things that I do know to the test – usually with good results and a few hilarious misunderstandings.

      Okay… My trainee just showed up – yes, I am typing this at work (again LOL) – so I guess
      I’d better focus on her although this is clearly more fun.

      Oh, by the way… I have written a new Encounter. Would you like to read it?

      Love as always


    4. And I didn't mean "goggles" - I meant "giggles". :)

  21. Hi E...

    Yes...I would love to read your new Encounter. It has been awhile since I have got to enjoy one of your stories. I was just thinking about that yesterday...and how I needed a "Michael story" to inspire me:) Maybe I will look back through our emails and see where I left off, and then get back to you. It never did work to just click onto the picture of the story I wanted to read, and I'm sorry about that, after all the work you went through. Must be something to do with my computer. is a chilly, fall like afternoon and it would be so nice to read one of your stories. Now...if I only had some chocolate chip cookies and milk...hmmmmm....would you like to join me?

    The weather just changed so abruptly here a few days ago. One day we were running the air conditioner, and the next day, my husband was turning on the propane wall furnace in our living room. Today it is in the low 60's..and raining. Blahhhhhhh:( I'm with you. I don't like it when it's too chilly out, but I don't like it too hot either. I l like it just right:)

    I enjoy hearing about your life and your family, and I think it is a special thing for us to still be in contact with each other after all this time...after our mutual appreciation for Michael brought us here to this place. It seems like I just start typing to you, and I feel like I have known you all my life. You are so easy to talk to and I like to hear your input about the things that I share with you.

    How neat that you and I both belong to the "only child" club:) How about that? We have some things in common that we didn't even realize.

    Yes...I agree with you...this IS fun, and I would rather sit here and chat with you than have to go get my work done...but I do have things that are waiting for my attention:( So...I better be going for now. I will look back through the stories that you sent me, and see where I left off, and then get back to you:)

    Take care and have a good week with your family.

    God bless and keep you all.

    Love from your friend in the states...


    1. Hi T,

      I don't mind posting links to the chapters again if that works better for you. Just let me know where you left off.

      This is the link to the new Encounter - Encounter 9:
      I am sure you will like this one. It is really sweet - and long too. :)
      It will take you inside the gates of Neverland and to Santa Barbara.

      I need to make this short today, because guess what - I am typing this at work again - but I just want to let you know that I really enjoy talking to you too. We are clearly different when it comes to many things and yet we are able to talk freely and find the similarities that exist underneath all the things we are or believe in. I find this absolutely magic.

      Can't wait to hear your opinion on Encounter 9!



    2. Hi E...

      Thanks for the link to Encounter 9. I am REALLY looking forward to reading it. It might take me awhile...but I doubt that, because once I start reading your stories, it's hard for me to stop. I have to REALLY discipline myself and tell myself that this is a treat for me, AFTER I get my work done:) Now I have some exciting inspiration to move me forward as I look around my home on this Monday morning and see the remains of a very busy and loving at "neckbreaking speed." Time to put it all back together again.

      Thank you for sharing your gift and your talent with me. I am honored. I have some really exciting news concerning the gift that God has given me. Saturday evening, I will be singing with some other song artists at the county fairgrounds. It will be a "Gospel Music Fest" and I am so excited to be working with these wonderful people. For so long, I have put this gift on the "back burner of my life"....raising my family, and lately doors have been opening for me to sing that are wonderful opportunities to share my life with others, and share the love of God with them in this way.I have been listening to Michael's "Epitome of Artistry", and I am so encouraged by his heartfelt words. It's like he is sitting right here beside me, talking with me... instructing me. I had a moment this week where my mind realized what my heart already knew. My heart whispered..." You are going to be opening up your heart and your gift to others, and from this moment on, you will no longer be able to hide behind the scenes where you have been so comfortable...are you READY for this??? I hadn't even given that a thought, but that "moment"...when it came flooding in, made me "wince", because I am shy by nature. But yet, this is a thrilling opportunity, and I humbled to be chosen for it. I understand what Michael means when he talks about stepping out on the stage and the "transformation" that takes place in him that moment, because I have experienced that as well. The moment before I step out to sing, my stomach hurts so bad, but when the music begins, and I am in my "zone", there is nothing like that feeling and exhilaration that flows over me. I so GET the songwriter in Michael. I believe that is why I "click with him" in so many ways. I'd like to think that in the days leading up to the concert, that maybe he will be whispering words of encouragement to my heart...preparing me...and just maybe he will be looking down on me that night and cheering me on:) are right. Our friendship is absolutely magic. We aren't afraid to show each other a new point of view...through different eyes...but then again, look who brought us together? Right? For him, it was all about matter what the color of your skin is, or the language that you speak. He longed for us to put away hate and love each other so we can heal the world. I believe that his mission is still possible, because the power of love knows no boundaries.He was invited to go around the globe to share his vision of love and peace and he was welcomed and loved where ever he went and his love and passion ignited the hearts all those he touched, and he is STILL touching hearts and lives today:) What an amazing legacy to leave behind. It's not what you take when you leave this world behind's what you leave behind you when you go.

      Better go get my day started. Can't wait to read your story...I must confess that I took a sneak peak and I am "intrigued" already:)

      Love from you friend in the states....


    3. Hi T,
      If you’re wondering why it is taking me so long to get back to you, I most certainly can’t blame you. I wanted to take part in your joy and excitement over finally taking that big step out on stage – but alas – life got in the way. Forgive me! I hope you overcame your nervousness and enjoyed every moment of it.

      Life got in the way…
      Or rather work did. You see, a month ago I got a new trainee. I was already a little worried before she started, because I wasn’t sure she had the necessary credentials (I am not responsible for hiring the trainees, but for training them), but of course it was never a question of not giving her the chance.
      She did okay the first couple of weeks, mainly because I made sure she didn’t get too busy or overloaded, but when one of my co-workers began introducing her to something new last week, it took only a few hours before she completely overloaded and broke down crying. It has happened twice since then, so of course I had to inform the management and ask them how we go about this. It’s a delicate balance, you know. We don’t want her to be unhappy, but at the same time, she is here to learn to become a secretary so we can’t keep giving her simple tasks like copying papers. She needs to be able to handle all sorts of tasks to complete her trainee period. So I feel caught between a need to be nice and gentle and a need to remain professional and - let’s face it - hard.
      At the same time she makes so many mistakes that I am starting to worry that I am going to make her cry too when I tell her…

      T, it drains me.
      I know I shouldn’t whine, but sometimes being responsible for other human beings can be really tough. I fell asleep in front of the TV yesterday after I came home from work… Sigh…
      So I have to admit that I have put everything else – including you and Michael (!) – on a backburner these last couple of weeks, so I could concentrate fully on the problem at hand. Still I feel bad about letting you wait at such an important moment in your life. No, in fact it annoys me that a problem at work causes me so much heartache that I take it home with me too. It shouldn’t be that way.
      Anyway, I am going to have a meeting with the management soon where we’ll discuss what to do, so hopefully things will get better, not just for me, but for my trainee too.

      I know I am late but I would really love to hear what it was like for you at the Gospel Music Fest. You know… Like… TELL ME EVERYTHING! Please…:)

      Lots of love


  22. Hi E...

    So good to hear from you. E... I understand when LIFE happens to me as well. There are days that go by when I think of you, but I don't have the opportunity to sit down and visit, so don't you worry about me and Michael being on the back burner. There will be times that we will all have to take turns sitting there because that is LIFE:) Thank you for sharing your heart with me. You are being put in a difficult place, that's for sure, and if your trainee can't handle the pressure now, with the easier tasks that you are presenting her with, it may be a sign that she is not cut out for this position? The fact that this situation is weighing heavily on you, shows your heart, and how it is troubling you even to the point of following you home at the end of the day. I truly hope that this will all work out for you very soon, and you will get some peace. I will be waiting to hear how things are going, and I will keep you in my prayers, if that is okay? (((HUG)))

    The Gospel Fest was amazing:) I totally get Michael when he gets in "his zone", because before I get up to sing, my nerves just about eat me up... but when I step on that stage and take the mic and the music starts? All the nerves melt away and I am "in my zone" comfortable. I had so much fun, and the groups I sang with were wonderful people to work with:) I traveled and sang for 10 years on the road and it has been years since I sang like that...and it all came having a River of JOY wash over me:) I am so humbled to be able to have this opportunity to share God's love in word and song. Then another door opened this week when one of the groups I sang with, called and invited me to come sing with them for a couple hours at a Fall Festival on Saturday. I told them I would love too, so I am looking forward to that this Saturday. It will be such a fun time:) It has been a long time since I have done something just for the fun of it. I have always been there for my children and my husband...24/7....standing by them and supporting their hopes, joys and dreams, and now...just maybe...I can find my dreams again...that have been tucked away in my heart for safe keeping:) Thank you for the way you really care...for our friendship... and for the love:)

    Hey...I read your story and I loved it. It was so sweet and romantic, and tugged on my heart:) If it's not too much to ask....could I please have some more?

    Please know that I am here for you, whenever you need to talk. You may not be able to see me face to face, but I hope that you can see me with your heart:)

    Better go for now. Trusting for a better week for you:)

    Love ya....


    1. Oh T, I am so excited for you! How wonderful that you finally get to live out that old dream of yours!
      I guess you must be good too, since one of the groups called you and asked you to sing with them again.
      I know from my own life what married life and children sometimes do to a woman’s dreams.
      It is not that anyone tells us we can’t do this or that, it is ourselves, isn’t it? We are the ones who decide to put everything on hold when the children are still young. It is like we have this strong sense of duty that just puts everything and everyone in our household before ourselves. I don’t know why it works like this. All I know is that I see it in almost every family I know.
      Strangely, men don’t seem to react the same way.
      Maybe it is instinct…
      From ancient times women were the ones who stayed at home and took care of the little ones while the men went out hunting… I wonder if this structure is still encoded into our DNA somehow…
      Anyway, whatever the reason, when our children grow up and leave the nest, we get a chance to reinvent ourselves and live out some of those dreams that were lost years before. I rather like that. It is like getting a second chance in life – at a time when experience has taught us wisdom as well. I guess you could say it’s a win-win situation. :)

      As for my trainee…
      My boss has invited her to a meeting later this week, so I’m hopeful that her issues – whatever they are – will be addressed. I still don’t know what made her react the way she did. I’ve never seen anything like that before – especially not in a 27-year-old. Maybe I would understand if an 18-year-old with no prior experience reacted like that, but not a 27-year-old, who’s had a job before. I wonder if maybe it was caused by some underlying issues… Perhaps something in her personal life…
      T, I am at a loss here. I really don’t know what is going on, but hopefully I’ll be wiser later this week.

      Oh, so you finished Encounter 9, did you?
      And you said you would take your time. :)
      I am afraid that I do not have any more Encounters for you – nor do I know if there will ever be an Encounter 10 as I am trying to slow down a little. After spending 8 hours at work, I often go right home, turn on my laptop and write for hours. It is not that I feel pressured to do so (it is really a labor of love and a wonderful way to escape into a world where Michael is still here with us) I’ve just realized that maybe I should take it easy and do some other things as well, like read a book or go for a walk…
      That said, I do have an idea that MIGHT turn into Encounter 10 one day. So… Who knows?
      Maybe you would like to go back to the Stairway to Heaven? I don’t remember how far you got, but maybe you do. If so – and if you want to continue reading that story – just let me know and I’ll find the next couple of chapters for you.

      Lots of love from Denmark

    2. Hi E...

      Thank you for your kind words:) I have certainly enjoyed the last two living in a dream, but I also have realized that I am not as YOUNG as I used to be, and I forgot how much singing like that took so much out of me. I don't know what will happen from here, but at least for a little while, I felt like Cinderella going to the ball:)

      Guess what my daughter gave me for an early birthday present? She came home on her Fall break from college on Thursday and stayed with us until this morning, and She knows that I have been wanting to go to the zoo for quite some time now...I LOVE animals:) immediately following Worship service, she took me and my youngest daughter to the zoo yesterday, which is in St. Louis, where she is attending college.It was just "us girls" and we had so much fun and laughed a lot. We got a pizza to eat on the way down, and stopped by her dorm when we got down there, and then headed on to the zoo. It took probably 1 1/2 hours by the time we made all our stops. We even found a monkey who shared my name, so my daughter had fun getting pictures of me with the animals:) It was SO crowded...have never seen so many babies and strollers in my life! I guess it was a really nice day, and everyone wanted to take advantage of it. It is free to get in , but you have to pay to park. At first, we drove around thinking we could just park out a ways and walk in...ha! There were SO many cars that we just decided to head back and pay to park in the lot. It was really worth it because you then could just walk straight into the entrance and then come back out right to your car afterward. After we came out, my daughter took us to one of her favorite places for frozen custard that she really likes, and she was WAS good:) Then she had to give us a tour of her favorite fast food store. Oh my goodness...they had everything and anything in there, so we all picked out a flavor of slushy that sounded good from the "wall of wonders" she puts it... before we headed home. What a wonderful and thoughtful present that I will never forget:) sure sounds like there may be something in her life that is causing her distress...bless her heart. We just never know what people are going through, do we. Maybe she needs to know that there is someone she can open up to, and trust with her heart. Maybe she needs to know, like Michael has told us...she is not alone.

      I couldn't help myself....once I started, I couldn't stop. You have such a way with words, and the ability to paint a picture... and make it come to life... the romance, the "wooing", the courtship, and the sweetness always leaves me wanting more:) I totally understand needing to take time to breathe. I will go back and find more stories, I am sure that I haven't read them all:) Do you FEEL Michael guiding you as you write? That might seem like a strange question, and forgive me if it is.It's just that Michael is the inspiration for many of the songs I have written, so I was wondering if you share this as well. I will dream of him sometimes and not be aware that it was him until I wake up, and much later in the day...something will trigger the truth of that dream, and then I will full out realize that Michael was with me. It's like my subconscious mind gobbles him up and takes him to a place where he will always be with me:) Does that make any sense at all?

      Guess I better go get my dishes done....ugh....I HATE that job, but I will listen to Michael and it will be much more enjoyable:)

      You take care, and have yourself a good week, and enjoy special moments with your family and friends:)

      Love to friend...


    3. T,
      I love animals too! I can honestly say that if I had been a little braver when I was young, I would not have chosen the path that I did. I would have become at veterinarian for sure. What scared me back then was the fact that vet studies had a reputation for being the toughest in the country and also that it was going to take 8 years to finish the studies. I didn’t think I’d make it, so I decided not to try. Do I regret that now? No. I like what I do, but sometimes I wonder why I didn’t try. You know, to win, you must be prepared to lose.
      Anyway, I’ve had pets for as long as I can remember. As a child, I had parrots (so messy and so loud LOL!) and I’ve pretty much had cats ever since I finished studying. Oh… Wait! Did I ever tell you that I have a master degree in English? I don’t think that I did. I haven’t had a chance to use it professionally, so all those years of hard work at college now go into my writing. I guess you could say it’s a bit of a waste – and I have to admit that my English is a bit rusty too compared to what it was – but at least I get a chance to have fun with it. I have a master degree in East Asian studies as well. Yes, one degree didn’t do it for me. :)

      Do I feel Michael guiding me when I write?
      Interesting question… Not strange, but interesting. I’ve thought about it for a while and I’ve come to the conclusion that the answer is no. Still, what happens when I write is a highly complex process. I often take my starting point in something that has happened in Michael’s life and then add my own interpretation. At other times it is a part of his character that I want to explore further. And sometimes I go with something that happens in my life – most often events or persons that make me feel sad or frustrated. Both emotions have turned out to do something positive to my creativity and productivity and often when I am done writing, I have written myself out of my frustration or sadness. I guess you could call this therapeutic writing.
      That said the chapters don’t always turn out as planned. Both Michael and Emma have a way of leading me astray so to speak and so sometimes I find that I end up in a totally different place than expected. Most often it is something they say. I can’t really explain how it happens, but generally speaking I find their dialogue very hard to control. You know, it is as if it has a life of its own… Once they start talking, I never know where it’s going to take them - or me. Consequently - as I am sure you can understand - I am very fascinated by this particular aspect of the creative process and I love to let go of the reins so I can just sit back at watch it unfold on the screen in front of me (with a little help from my fingers of course).
      Inspiration is a marvelous thing.

    4. Wrote too much for one post... Sorry.

      I do dream about Michael relatively often, though and I find that most of these dreams have a couple of things in common. First of all, I remember almost every one of them vividly. This is due to the fact that I experience lucid dreams, not just about Michael but in general. This means that I am aware that I am dreaming when I am dreaming. It also allows me to interact rather than just experience. Sometimes I can even decide what to say. Not always, but sometimes… I know it sounds crazy, but look up lucid dreams on the internet. It is not a totally uncommon phenomenon. Even Aristotle talked about it. Basically what happens is just that I have a very active brain that doesn’t shut down when I sleep.
      Secondly, I have to say that many of my dreams about Michael are variations of the same topic and storyline: Being chosen, listening to what he has to say and then spreading the word. Now, I am by no means blind to the fact that this sounds very much like something we’ve heard before - and upon which humanity have built religions - but you know that I am not a religious person. In fact, for someone like me these dreams have a very down to earth meaning and origin: I simply have a very deep desire to let everyone know that the Michael described in the tabloids is not the true Michael. I want to defend him against injustice. I want the world to see him. To REALLY see him… So what can I say? Apparently I want this so badly that it is deeply encoded into my subconscious as well.
      And hey, who wouldn’t want to be handpicked by Michael? We all want to be one of the girls he invited up on stage. At least I know that I do.
      They are nice dreams too.
      Unfortunately, all of these dreams come with a curse. Because of my lucid dreams, I can never escape the fact that he is dead. I take it with me into every single dream of him and I always look at him, touch him and talk to him with the terrible knowledge that what I experience isn’t real. Sometimes I want to hold on to him so badly and tell him not to go, but that is the one thing I can’t control. He is in my dreams, but in a different realm, outside of reach although I can reach out and touch him. There’s like this invisible veil between us. I don’t know how to explain really... Only once has he grabbed my hand and held on to it as if he didn’t want to let go. I still remember the look in his eyes and how firm his grip was… But I couldn’t take him along with me. I left him standing alone in a deserted street in a deserted town.
      Fortunately, most often he leaves quietly and happily and in these cases I don’t feel sad at all. On the contrary… I feel comforted somehow. Why? Because he looks happy. (Except for that one time and another time I remember too vividly too, but let’s not go there.)

      Oh dear, I’ve just read what I have written. I sound like a lunatic. LOL! :)
      Oh well… I’m going to leave it as it is. I trust that you can handle it. There’s nothing spooky to it either. Lucid dreams just work that way and I do have a very vivid imagination, so when you combine these in one person something is going to happen for sure.

      T, I hope you’ll not run away screaming. I would really love to hear what you have to say on this matter. I know you have a different perspective, so I am curious…and a little worried. But hey, if Aristotle said it’s okay, then I guess it’s okay. *laughs*

      Lots of love


    5. Hi E...

      So we are both CAT people:) I LOVE cats. What does that say about us? I wonder what it is that draws the two of us to a cat? There's another Google study for us this week:)

      I loved reading about your creative process, and I sure do get that:) It made me smile when you said that Mike and Emma have minds of their own. It must be such an amazing experience to see what direction they are going to take you:) Do you ever feel like clearing your throat and saying..."Uh....excuse me, but could I get a word in edgewise?":) Oh...I totally agree with you. Michael does have quite a therapeutic effect on our hearts. There is such an intense JOY that comes out of his music...that's because that is where his love is stored and when ever we listen to it, I believe his love flows out to the heart that is open to receive it. My heart was opened to him five years ago, when he passed away.The day that I watched his Memorial, my heart was stirred to the inner core as I discovered that he was not only the most famous man on the planet, but he was an amazing father, a son, and a brother. He was a human being with a heart that knew joys, dreams, and sorrows, and if he was cut, he bled. I met Michael Jackson...the man behind the mask, and something about him drew me in and touched me deep down inside. I am not the person I was 5 years ago. Michael has taught me many things, and inspired me to believe in myself, and the gift that God has blessed me with. I found these words of his the other day..."My music is not mine. It's a gift from God, It is my obligation to share it with the world." Yes...Michael...and you fulfilled that obligation so well. Now it's our turn to do our part... to do what we can to make this world a better place."

  23. So you know you are dreaming when you dream, and you can kind of "steer" the direction that it takes? Wow. You tugged on my heart when you shared about Michael being in a different realm...outside of reach, even though you can touch him, and the invisible veil between you and him. And again, the tugging, as you shared how he grabbed your hand and held on to it and if he didn't want to let go. THAT, my friend, would break my heart. Have you ever woke from these dreams in tears and so deeply moved by seeing him and being with him that your heart hurt? I have never had lucid dreams but I have had dreams where he was with me that seemed so real. Usually these dreams have a message...something he is trying to convey to me that I feel in my heart. I remember one such dream where I was being warned not to go near the door in the corner of the room, because that was Michael's door, and I wasn't allowed to go through it. Michael was sitting in that corner, with his hair pulled back in a ponytail, beckoning to me with his eyes. It still haunts me when I go back there in my mind. In another dream he was trying to take me with me with him, and in my heart I was fighting back because I didn't want to leave my family, but yet I wanted to be with him, too. I can still see him turn to smile at pants, royal blue shirt, fedora, loafers, couldn't see his socks, and his hair spilling onto his shoulders. He was talking to someone, surrounded by people I didn't know...sounded serious, and I was watching from another room, thinking he didn't know I was there, but he DID. That moment when he turned to let me know it....that smile. Makes my heart skip a beat. There is a deep fiber that runs through his heart to our's E. I believe he KNOWS us...I really do...because he can FEEL our hearts, and he knows we are tuned into him:) Am I going to run away from YOU screaming??? No...but maybe I should ask you the same question? There have been so many "Michael Moments" that touch my life every day, that I can't explain....there is no way I am going to go running away from you:) You are my amazing friend and I love you just the way you are...the way you are meant to be:) A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song. It just simply inhabits the joy:)

    So with that said....Go forth and inhabit the joy, my friend, and be free to be who you are:)

    Love ya lots...


    1. Well, obviously I can’t say what draws you to cats, but I most certainly can tell you why I like them so much.
      First of all, cats seem so much more independent than dogs. I always have the feeling that they live in my house, not on my terms, but on their terms. They are not eager to please either. So, it is up to me to make myself worthy of their acceptance – and not all cats can be easily impressed. You have to work for it. With cats, nothing comes for free.
      I think they are in closer contact with their instincts too. You know, the lion is there, just beneath the surface.
      It gives them this mysterious wild side that it impossible to fathom no matter how hard we try. We never really know our cats.
      They are smart too. Very smart… In a kind of sneaky way... Very fascinating.

      As for the creative process…
      I sometimes do want to tell Mike and Emma to behave, but since it is all the doing of my imagination, I usually just sit back and go through what I’ve written; amazed that it came from me. Sometimes I laugh too and shake my head. “Geez… How on earth did you get here?” It is so much fun, and most definitely the part of writing that I enjoy the most.
      And is there a part you don’t like, you might ask?
      Yes, there is. As I have told you before, I am not comfortable writing intimate scenes. I struggle every time. It never comes easily, but I want to make sure to include this aspect of life every now and then simply because I can’t make myself turn Michael into a eunuch or an asexual being although it most definitely would be easier. He was a man. I can’t take that away from him. I just can’t. I love and respect him too much to do this.
      Yes, I know it may sound like a strange argument. A lot of other people think including this aspect of human life is disrespectful to his memory. But I say it depends on how you do it. Making it the sole focus of your story is a definite no-no – just as excluding it is no good. So, natural doses, when it comes naturally…and nothing too wild or crazy. That is what I try to do.
      I never cared for his super stardom either. I cared and still care for the man underneath all of the royal paraphernalia. Sigh… How could I not? I am a woman and he’s so lovely underneath it all. So very lovely and lovable...
      He was a sweet, misunderstood soul too… And it tugs at my heart strings. I wish I could have done something. I really wish I could. Just a little thing… Anything to make him smile and forget about all the people who were out to get him for money and fame for just a little while…
      T, I know I wouldn’t have changed anything. Michael’s life was like a runaway train You can’t stop something like that with your bare hands. Something should have been done at a very early stage and only very few people were in a position to do so. (If any…) It is not what I am talking about either.
      He has just brought me so much happiness in my life that I wish I could have given him just a glimmer of light in return…
      You know what? I make a good clown. I bet he would have liked that.

      To be continued...

    2. My dreams…
      I can’t control events and other people in my dreams, only how I respond. It is not like I am in total control of my “dream-self” either. Sometimes I find myself doing or saying things that it outside my control too… Like a slip of the tongue or something similar… Weird… But I guess the degree of control isn’t constant. Sometimes I think it depends on how badly I want to interact too. At times I just decide to sit back, hold my tongue and watch…
      It a bit like going to the movies. *laughs*

      Do I sometimes wake up feeling sad?
      It happens, but it is not very often. When Michael is in one of my lucid dreams, I know it isn’t real so I am prepared, so to speak. What I do instead is to make the most of it while I’m there with him. I study details, take them all in… I open my eyes, my ears and my heart up wide, knowing I am just a visitor on borrowed time so to speak…
      And I hang on to it, as long as I possibly can.
      Last time, I did so literally. I was sitting at his feet, listening to him talking, with my arms wrapped around his legs and my head resting against his knees. Oh, I smile when I think of it… It was nice.
      When I get sad it is like you say - I wake up and feel so touched by what I have just experienced that I have to shed a few tears.
      Also, I’ve had a few dreams where he was sad and they tend to stick with me all day. It is like I can’t shake his sadness.

      Only once have I woken up from a dream about Michael and felt completely gutted. (It was not a lucid one.) When I found out it was just a dream, I felt such sadness inside that I screamed it out so loudly that my poor husband, who was snoring next to me (the reason I woke up) thought someone with criminal intent was in the room with us. It was like going from heavenly bliss to complete despair in a blink of an eye. Absolutely horrible… I’ve never been so disappointed in my life. Never felt so alone, empty, cold... I am ashamed to admit it, because I have nothing to complain about in my life at all, but it is the truth.
      My husband was so confused, but I couldn’t tell him what was wrong. I just couldn’t… It was just a dream but it would have been so unfair to him anyway.
      Oh T, for a few feeling moments my life was perfect. But alas… Perfection doesn’t exist.
      At least I got to feel it.
      And I can still recall that last moment before my husband’s snoring woke me up from the dream… Specks of dust sailing in golden sunlight in a beautiful room, Michael kneeling in front of me, lips slightly pouted as he leaned forward to kiss my pregnant belly… And then came this feeling… That unmistakable feeling of life only women are blessed to truly experience… The baby kicked. I took his hand and put it right there where I felt it. He smiled and looked up at me with an expression in his eyes that I will never, ever forget… That moment… That’s when my life was perfect.

      I think you are right. We are tuned into him and he is tuned into us. No matter how I look at it, I can’t deny there’s a connection between us, something that seems to defy the laws of nature… Something nice.
      I feel very comforted by its presence. I do not need to understand it. I just feel blessed that it’s there.

      Run away screaming from you?
      But you might after what I’ve just told you.
      Talk to you soon – I hope. :)



    3. Hi E...

      I love to hear you talk about your writing. You are so funny, and it feels like I am right there with you, sharing a cup of coffee and eating chocolate:)

      So your heart can't take Michael's manhood from him....whoops...that didn't come out right, did it:) You KNOW what I mean:) I am blushing now. He is so beautiful... through and through...and at the root of that beauty in him, is a golden heart that beats for others more than himself. However, there was also testosterone and intense passion that lived inside of him, so can you imagine what it was like for him and"his lady", behind closed doors? I can't even begin to go there. I don't think that we as married women...knowing the sweetness of intimacy with our own husbands ...could ever deny that:)

      Yes...he IS lovely...I refer to him in the present tense because to me, in my heart, he will always be present. I listen to his songs when I miss him, which is alot, and I can hear the cry in him that breaks my heart...reaching out for someone to care...Adlibs beneath the music...the pain flowing out of his heart...and I am so very sorry I couldn't reach him. If in another time and place, our paths could have crossed...maybe things would have been so much different for him. E... Maybe we couldn't have changed what was meant to be for him, the price of his fame, but just maybe if we could have been there, we could have loved him through it and gave him a sense of what normal life could be like, and what love should have been for him...sharing our hearts and precious moments of life together...drying each other's tears and making each other laugh. Isn't that what best friends do???

      To be continued...:)

    4. Hi E...

      I'm back:) Now where were we? Oh yes...Michael in your dreams. Oh goodness were sitting at his feet, listening to him talking, your arms wrapped around his legs,and your head resting against his knees???? WOW. I want the dreams that YOU have:) How were able to keep your composure...touching him? Was it like an electric current going through you? That was the subject matter of the very first song I ever wrote about him.One day...the words just starting coming..."Some days my heart is hurting so deep, and the pain's so bad all I can do is weep...There are days I think I'll go insane...then I hear you whispering my name...and you go through me...and I don't even know how to explain...something deep inside me's not the same...since you came into my life, and now I know I'll be forever changed...when you go through me." Yes...there are days where my heart hurts for him so deeply, and I can't shake it you's like you can't shake his sadness. I ask God if He will let me dream about him so I won't miss him so much, but that must not be in the plan. My connection to Michael is within my Michael Moments... ALOT. There will be times that Michael comes up in a conversation...just out of the blue...from the most unlikely source, and it will just blow my mind, or he will be mentioned during a program I am watching on t.v.., or I'll turn on the radio and a station that I never listen to will be playing his song. That happened just this week, and when these moments happen, I know you don't agree, but I see God in that moment...letting me know He is near. I am always caught off guard when this happens, and I can't help but smile in wonderment, at the creative way God chooses to touch my life. It isn't for everyone to understand...but hey...what about my life IS normal anyway...and I wouldn't want it to be:)

      Let's talk some more about your made me cry on this one...Michael bending down to kiss your pregnant belly and your little one kicking at that moment, and you placing his hand where you felt that precious movement of the life within you...and he smiled and looked into your eyes with a message that you can still feel today. Do you realize what a gift you have been given??? And what a gift I have been given because you and I both experience Michael, only in different ways...hand crafted...just special for each one of our hearts... and we can share that together. This is amazing love! Yes...we ARE connected to him, even though we can't explain defies the laws of nature, and we are comforted by his presence in our tune with him, because our hearts have been "opened" to him. We may or may never know just why, but with each day that God gives us on this earth, He has sent walk this road with us, and we are learning that even though LIFE happens, there is still JOY in the Journey:)

      Better go for now...will be in touch again soon.

      Love ya...


    5. Hi T,
      I finally made it back here again. Good grief, what a week. The situation with my trainee drains me. No, it is not solved yet… I was at a second meeting last Friday, where I told my boss that it wasn’t going to work out for her. I’ve not been this straight forward with him before, so hopefully it is going to make a different this time. I know I can’t go on like this. And neither can my trainee. We are most certainly not doing her a favor either, since it is obvious to me that we cannot give her what she needs to finish her trainee period successfully. This means she’ll never get a chance to get an ordinary job in this field afterwards either.
      Still, the worst thing is the fact that I am faced with her all the time. She sits just opposite me in my office and although I know I am doing the right thing, I still feel horrible for doing this to her.
      Anyway, we’ll see what happens… It is out of my hands now.

      Ah, chocolate and coffee! They go so well together!
      Do you drink your coffee black? I do.

      T, don’t worry, I know what you meant, when you wrote ”manhood.” I know it is easy to read that other thing into it, but clearly that was not what you meant. Still, I giggle when you tell me about your reaction. But hey - women our age are allowed to have a giggle now and then too, right?

      I am intrigued by the fact that you too are sorry that you couldn’t reach him. What is it that makes us feel this way about him? Love? Maternal instincts? A little bit of both or something completely different?
      I can’t answer the question myself. I don’t know why he has that effect on me, when he was so far away from me that he might as well have been living in another universe. He shouldn’t be able to touch me that way, but he does. He really does seem to defy the laws of nature and the laws of the human psyche as well. And you’re right - it does seem that we are connected to him.
      I always picture him sneaking in through a backdoor in my heart, his own private entrance… He probably stole the key too and hid it somewhere so I can’t lock the door. :)
      I wonder if all of his fans feel this way. I guess most do. It must be one of the main reasons why he has so many fans and why so many of them stick with him so faithfully even after he’s gone.

      Fans… When it comes to my relationship with Michael, the term fan seems too superficial. I feel more like a long-distance friend. I loooooove his music, but it is not the main reason why he has an almost magnetic effect on me. I don’t care about all of the glitter and fame either… I care about the man inside that talks to me though those amazing, expressive eyes… They really are a window to his soul, open, honest and yet so mysterious. I would have loved to get to know him and find out, if what I see in his eyes is really who he was.

      More to come...

    6. Your Michael moments…
      T, when you say that you see or feel God in those moments, then that’s what you do. I can’t disagree with what you feel. Feelings are personal. I might explain it differently, but that does not change your experience.
      I know exactly what you mean too. Just because I do not believe, does not mean that I do not get goose bumps all over from time to time and feel that I am part of something greater.
      I do.
      And I think about those moments a lot.
      I guess being a non-religious person I am always looking for explanations, whereas you don’t have to do that to the same extent when faced with a moment like this.
      I still believe that it is the same thing we are experiencing, though. The only thing that’s different is our perspective, which in turn makes it very interesting to share these things with you.

      "Some days my heart is hurting so deep, and the pain's so bad all I can do is weep...There are days I think I'll go insane...then I hear you whispering my name...and you go through me...and I don't even know how to explain...something deep inside me's not the same...since you came into my life, and now I know I'll be forever changed...when you go through me."
      T, this is fantastic.
      I experience days like this too. You now, when the blues really hits me hard and then suddenly it’s like I feel a hand on my back, pushing me gently forward. “Go on, you can do it.”
      I do not think I can contribute this to Michael – at least not directly – but sometimes when you are up against a sea of troubles, it sometimes does help me to think of all the malice that Michael faced with such grace for most of his life – and then I get the strength to continue. You know, “if he could do it, so can you.”

      Okay, I’ve got to end it here. I am supposed to be working but I needed to take a little Michael moment before returning to the situation I am currently faced with.
      May you and your family have a nice week!



  24. T,
    It's been a while since I've heard from you...
    I hope you're okay.


  25. Hi E...

    Here I am:) I am SO sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. It is harvest time and that means early mornings and late nights trying to get our crops...corn and soybeans...out of the field before the weather turns disagreeable. We are having a cold snap right now....dipping down into the 20's, which is about 20 degrees out of character for this time of November. We just got finished today and when I sat down to write to you I saw your message. Yes...I am fine:) Thank you for checking on me. That means a lot and confirms what a special friend you have become:)

    Let's see...I will now respond to your last reply:)

    You certainly have been put into an uncomfortable situation with your trainee. I can feel your heart for people, so I know how much this is bothering you. I trust that your boss will find a way to help resolve the awkwardness of the whole situation very soon.

    Do I drink my coffee black? Yes:) We have that in common, too:)

    We surely are allowed a giggle now and then...wife to wife...woman to woman...friend to friend:)

    I just love the way you said this...brought tears to my eyes, because I totally understand where you are coming from..."I always picture him sneaking in through a backdoor in my heart, his own private entrance… He probably stole the key too and hid it somewhere so I can’t lock the door". :) Yes, E.... I believe that what we see in his eyes...the more we learn about him, which is daily...right?....beyond a shadow of a doubt, IS the man he really was. I believe that with all my heart:)

    Here are the lyrics to my song..."Lost in your love"...inspired by my relationship with the Lord, my husband, and Michael, who is also very dear to me:

    "I get lost in your love, when you cover me with your wings...Lost in your sweet embrace, when the enemy rages, you are my hiding place...
    I love the sound of your heart in your arms is right where I want to are my refuge when my soul is bleeding...come rescue me.
    I get lost in your love, when you cover me with your wings...those that torment me now...are all put to shame when you won't let me down...
    I love the sound of your heart in your arms is right where I want to be...You are my refuge when my soul in to rescue me....

    I get lost in your love.....I get lost in your love...I'm so lost in your love..."

    The picture that this song paints is of me running to my beloved when life is too crazy to handle and the burden is too heavy to bear...laying against his chest... feeling his heart beat against mine...and remaining there until His love strengthens me...until I can face the world again...with the love of my life, and the lover of my soul.

    I love it that you took a little Michael moment with me. He is the One who brought us together, and he continues to keep us close at heart:) It means so much to be able to share Michael with you, because we share an awareness of him that many people do not have. He inspires us, even 5 years after he left this earth...his love remains for all time.

    Take care my dear friend. You are always in my heart:)

    God bless and keep you and your family in His tender love and care...



    1. Hello T!
      It was good to finally hear from you again. I had seen the news reports on the sudden change in weather in the US – yes, the news made it all the way over here too – and suspected that the cold might have something to do with it. I just didn’t realize it was harvest time so late in the year. In Denmark, harvest was over months ago, except for the turnips, which are usually harvested in October.
      Anyway, I am glad everything is okay – apart from the cold that is.

      I hope your daughter is okay too. I’ve just heard that tempers have exploded in Ferguson once again after it was decided not to indict the police officer. It is so sad. I understand the anger, but I do not understand the way they react – or rather – I do not understand that they rioters do not understand that looting is counterproductive to their cause since it only strengthens the stereotypical image of who they are.
      But on the other who am I to tell them what to do… I am sitting here, safe and sound, on the other side of the ocean, privileged and so very European… I guess I need to shut up.
      I just hope no one gets killed or injured.

      The trainee situation has been solved. She was fired two weeks ago and tomorrow there’s a series of job interviews, so we may soon hire a new trainee. This time I have been invited to take part in the interviews, which I am really pleased about, since I had no influence on anything the last time they hired someone. (It was arranged pretty much like a bind date. All I got was a name and a date when she would start. It was not very professional if you ask me – and as we know, it did not have a happy end either.)

      I love your song lyrics. I just wish I could hear you sing them too. I feel like sitting down with my arms folded across my chest, pouting. “No, I am not leaving until you sing for me. I want the whole thing.” *laughs* Childish, I know. But fun. It is like having a tin of chocolates you know you are not allowed to eat, so all you can do is take off the lid and take a good sniff - only to feel even more tempted to take a bite too and thus get the whole experience, of course. Oh man… I know from experience how hard it is to resist. My mother always bought tins of Quality Street Chocolates when we went sailing in the summer, but I was not allowed to help myself. (She probably knew I would not stop until the tin was empty.) Oh dear… oh dear… I am telling you, my fingers were itching to open the tin and my mouth was watering at the thought of all those nice chocolates… Did I ever give in? Yes, a couple of times, but only when the tin was full, so it would be harder for her to notice that one or two were missing. Tsk… Bad me.

      You know what?
      I think I am going to buy a tin of Quality Street Chocolates on my way home from work. It’s soon Christmas – so I am allowed to do so, right?

      Speaking of Christmas…
      Yesterday, I put lights up in the trees out front and next weekend it will be time for the indoor decorations.
      Have you started decorating yet or is it too soon for you?
      I love Christmas. I couldn’t wait to get started any longer. :)

      Lots of love from your Danish friend


    2. Hello my dear Danish friend, E...

      So good to hear from you:)

      Wow. You heard about Ferguson where you are? That's amazing. My daughter is home with us for her Thanksgiving break and we are thankful for that. We are praying that by the time she has to go back to classes, that this nonsense will all be settled down. It's just so ridiculous. One of her friends who lives there on the campus called her this afternoon and told her it was just "stupid" the way they are carrying on. Is this behavior going to help make things better? NO. They need to sit down and talk and really listen to each other. The way they are behaving is tainting the memory of the young man who was shot. There are two sides to every story, so they say, and I wasn't there to know exactly what went down, but in my opinion, if they don't want to be treated like a "stereotype" then they need to stop feeding the frenzy that is creating, and reinforcing it. should NOT shut up, my's good to hear your thoughts. I agree with you wholeheartedly. Thank you for being concerned about my daughter. I just called up to her...she's doing homework in her room..., and told her that you hoped she was okay. She said..."Awwwwwww:), so I think you really touched her heart, my friend. I know you touched mine:)

      You are so sweet. "No, I am not leaving until you sing for me". That's cute:) I would love to be able to sing my songs for you:) My voice is low...a contralto...if that helps to imagine what I sound like, kind of like "Anne Murray" a country artist. Don't know if you have ever heard of her before, and I have a "Southern Gospel" flair.Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I really appreciate that. When I sing in church, I sing Southern Gospel, but when I write, I write ballads...from the heart, and so many of those ballads have been inspired by Michael. Speaking of Michael...I could put Michael and that tin of chocolates that is hard to resist, in the same category:) :):) He is so precious, and continues to grow more dear to me with each passing's like he has become a part of me...with every breath I breathe. I can't explain it. I just know there have been so many moments take place in my life during the last 5 years, since I "met" Michael, that have been awesome and too wonderful for words...God reaching out to me in His creativity, to wake me up. My eyes are open now, and every day I watch for God's activity in my life, because I know that it will be anything but normal.

      Yes...You ARE allowed to buy those chocolates. They bring back special memories and treasures from days gone by, so enjoy those precious memories:) Wish I could sit down with you and enjoy them as well:)

      I am sipping on a cup of peppermint mocha coffee while I type to you. Would love to get you a cup:)

      No...we probably won't put our lights up for a little bit yet. I usually have my kids birthday parties to get ready for before Christmas decorating. My son will turn 21 on the youngest daughter will turn 16 on December 5th, and my oldest daughter will turn 19 on January 24th. They are "stair-steps" that is for sure:)

      Here is a link to one of the Southern Gospel Groups that I really like...just to give you an idea of what my style is.
      Hope it will work. I'll be looking forward to finding out if you got to watch it. bad as I hate to, I need to close for now. I always enjoy visiting with you. You make me feel like I have known you all my life, and I consider that a gift:) Take care, okay, and have a good week:)

      Much love for your friend in the states...

      T:) ((((HUG)))))

    3. E...

      That's supposed to be..."Much love FROM your friend in the states":)


    4. Hello T,
      I am sitting in my office surrounded by moving boxes as I write this. In less than two weeks I have to move out of here along with my co-workers, because the building is being torn down to make room for a new town hall. I will be spending the next two and a half years in an old building, which used to be part of a mental asylum. *laughs* It’s strangely suitable. Working for the mayor is a bit crazy sometimes.
      I’ve never felt attached to the old town hall before now, really. I guess I am starting to get a little sentimental now that it’s being torn down. My mother was the first employee to move in here in November 1969 and now I will be one of the last to move out. It’s made me think back to the time when I came here to visit my mother as a young girl and how I would count the doors to make sure I opened the right one…
      It’s like I am first starting to realize that this building has been part of my life forever now that it’s being torn down.
      It needs to go though. It may look fine on the surface, but if you scratch the paint… No, wait… You don’t want to do that.

      Of course Ferguson is on the news in Denmark. It may be a relatively small town, but what happens there is by no means a small thing. There’s such a great divide in the American society… And I see it happening here too. Slowly but surely… Although here, it has different causes.
      People are so obsessed with making demands without wanting to give a little bit of themselves or put an effort into changing things. Here, we call it “the demand mentality.”
      T, I can’t help but think of what John F. Kennedy said: “Ask not, what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.”
      Michael said something important too: “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change.”
      I wish those people, who are not happy with the way things are and think protesting in the streets and burning down innocent people’s shops is going to make a difference, would start to look at themselves first. If you want to change things, then get up and vote for a starters. Teach your kids to be good citizens – even if you cannot afford to give them a good education teaching them about citizenship is free. Join the police if you’re not happy with them or if you feel they don’t represent society, take responsibility…
      Walking in the streets making loud demands is going to get them nowhere unless they start to demand something of themselves too.
      Just my five cents…

      I am glad to hear your daughter is safe. How sweet her reaction to hearing about my concern was! It put a big smile on my face.

      Yes, Michael is like chocolate too. So sweet and soothing… *laughs* And you know I can’t get enough of him either. There’s always that urge to take just another bite!

      Thank you, I am going to check out Anne Murray in the Christmas Holidays, when I have more time on my hands.

      Oh, so you have a Southern gospel flair? *listens intently* Aaaaahh yes, I am starting to hear it now… Not clearly, but I am getting there. It sounds really nice. I like it.

      Tell your youngest daughter Happy Birthday for me tomorrow, will you?

      Have a wonderful weekend!

      Lots of love – as always


    5. Hi E...

      It's hard to say goodbye to precious memories, isn't it. Like saying goodbye to a part of your's such a part of you.

      Oh E...I didn't mean to insult you. I in no way meant to convey that I think where you live is too small to be reached with news from the states. I was just amazed how fast the news traveled. Sorry about that:( Yes...we need to be the change that we wish to see. Can we do it on our own? No...we're going to need some help. We may not be able to change the whole world, but we CAN help those around us that we see need our help, and that's a good place to start.

      My kids think it is neat that I have a friend who lives in Denmark. I cannot share that with my husband however. He doesn't understand ALL...and he has such a fear of the he would not be pleased to know that I met you through Michael. It's not that I am trying to keep a secret from's just best that I don't "go there" concerning him. We always seem to get "at odds" with each other where Michael is concerned, because he doesn't understand and is blinded by the lies and accusations. I would love to be able to share what I have learned about Michael with the man I love, but sometimes, it's best to just leave things alone.

      I am waiting for all my kids to come home on Christmas break to get out the Christmas tree, because they are the ones who decorate it every year. My son puts on the lights, and I hand the ornaments to my daughters who place them on the tree. Every year it comes out different, yet somehow, more precious then the year before. I place the angel, that was my Mom's, on the tree in her memory. Christmas is bittersweet for me because she was my best friend, and I miss her terribly every day. She passed on her legacy to make Christmas as special for my children, as she did for me...but there is always a piece of my heart that no one else can fill. I know she is with the Lord because He was her Savior and the way she lived was witness to His love in her life, to all those who knew and loved her. She went home to be with the Lord when she was just 49 years old. She died of colon cancer. I saw her suffer such pain, but she was so brave in the face of that disease, and showed me how to face death with grace and dignity. So Christmas is difficult for me...because she took a part of my heart with her when she left. She would want me to focus on the Reason for the Season...Jesus coming to us special delivery, wrapped up in love, to save the world from their sin...that is love....Amazing Love.

      I told my youngest happy birthday from fact, I let her read your Birthday Greeting. She smiled and said to tell you thank you very much:) She is my quiet one. She is just a ponytail, t-shirt, and jeans kind of girl. She is by no means "girlie" which makes is hard to buy her anything sometimes, because she is just content with the bare necessities:

      Guess I better close for now. Just wanted to get back to you before too much time got away. Have a wonderful weekend, and enjoy your family:)
      Wish that someday we could meet at Neverland Ranch and walk the grounds where our dear friend Michael walked. I really think that we could still "feel" him there, E...I really do.

      Lots of love from your friend in the states....


    6. T,
      When you wrote that you were sorry for insulting me I was like: ”What is she talking about? What insult? Where? When?” In short, you didn’t insult me at all. These days news travels fast and sadly, the Ferguson events – and the ongoing protests – are of such importance that they get covered almost daily, not just in Denmark, but in the rest of the world too. The world is a small place thanks to modern technology.

      And hey, so is Denmark. :)
      I know just fine that we are one of the smallest nations in the world, so trust me you can think and say that as much as you like. It’s the truth. (Well, if you leave out Greenland, of course.)
      Danish hearts are big and brave though. We haven’t forgotten our Viking ancestry, but most often this just gets us in trouble rather than winning any battles. At the moment we are taking on Russia, Canada and the US in the bid for the ownership of the North Pole and the surrounding waters – and in true Danish style, we pretty much think it’s a done deal. It belongs to us. *laughs* Maybe we would do better if we put on our helmets and set out in our wooden Viking boats again or maybe not…
      Those days are over. Now we only rule the world in our hearts. :)

      So, in two days it’s Christmas Eve. That’s the big day here in Denmark. I’ve just about finished shopping for the Christmas dinner and tomorrow, it will be time to bring the tree inside and to decorate it according to tradition. Part of the tradition is me throwing a fit, when the light cords get entangled – yes, we’ve opted for electric lights. Candles are no good with cats around, unless you like a burnt tree and some toasted cats. So now, the only thing burning is my temper. *laughs* I really hate those lights, but they look so fine once they’re up there in the tree. I always send Michael a kind thought or two when I step back from the tree to admire my work. He loved the Christmas lights so much.

      On Christmas Eve, my parents will be coming over for dinner and then, when we’re full, we’ll sing Christmas carols and dance around the tree before we hand out the presents. Even though my daughter will be 16 next months, this is still the thing she looks forward to the most. And me too - albeit for me it is just the giving part more than the receiving. I loooooove buying gifts and I love giving them away even more, but as a kid the thought of all the nice things waiting for me underneath the tree made me feel so excited I could barely eat. I think this is the way most children feel – if they celebrate Christmas, of course.

      Okay, I need to get on with my Christmas chores, my friend.

      May you and your loved ones have a wonderfully Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year!



  26. Hi E.....

    Merry Christmas to you and your family and a very Happy, Blessed New Year!!!

    Much love to you....


  27. Hi E....

    It is a difficult time for me right now. Two days before Christmas, I got a call telling my father was in the emergency room throwing up blood. He was transferred to a bigger hospital 2 hours away from us, and they did a procedure with a scope and camera down to his stomach that revealed a bleeding ulcer. That he could heal from, but an even more heartbreaking issue is the dementia that has been coming on for at least a year now. My dad is 81 years old and the doctor feels it is a vascular dementia caused from several strokes he has had. It is so hard for me to see my dad slipping away from me like this. The doctor feels it is not safe for him to go back to his home and we know that is the case but he has fought me on moving him to a facility, and still had enough presence of mind to refuse to go, so this was actually an answer to prayer because the doctor was so good at presenting it in an appealing way that my dad finally consented. So now we are waiting to hear from the social worker which one of the nursing homes that we chose will accept my dad to come live there, with his medical issues. It is hard on my say the least. My dad still knows me but he is very confused now and thinks my husband is just "my friend". When he gets an idea in mind, he asks me that question over and over and over again because he doesn't remember asking me just 5 minutes ago. This is part of the disease, but it's hard to take. The doctor told him that there will be people at his new home that will be his age so he can make some new friends, and have activities to do, and maybe this will help give him a distraction and some news things to focus his mind on. He LOVES to do puzzles and read mysteries which is a good therapy for the mind. He also loves Reeses peanut butter cups and lemon lime soda, so there are a few things that I can take to him to help make new home a little more comfortable. Now we are trading Dad is the child and I am the parent....while trying to preserve his dignity and respect. It is breaking my heart, really is.

    What has your Christmas been like? I do hope that it has been a special one for you. On Christmas Eve...toward 9p, or so....we all gather in our living room where my Nativity scene is and turn out all the lights except for the Christmas tree. My kids then shine a flashlight on the Nativity scene and I open my Bible to Luke chapter 2 and read the account of Jesus birth. It touches my heart every time I read it...such love....Amazing love. And then when I finish, everyone chooses their favorite Christmas Carol and we all sing it, and then we sing Happy Birthday to Jesus, because it IS HIS birthday. My kids love this and they are youngest having just turned 16. It is a special memory they have of Christmas that they carry in their hearts. And then we open our gifts to each other Christmas morning, and their is a lot of JOY and LAUGHTER in that room. Then I fix a nice breakfast for all of us and we enjoy that and then the kids all enjoy their gifts the rest of the day. It can be something very simple but they get a lot of joy out of it:)

    My friend....I am so very THANKFUL for the special friendship that we have because of our mutual appreciation for Michael. I am always so happy to hear from you. You mean a lot to me, and I wish you and your family much joy and blessings in the New year to come:)

    Much love from your friend in the states....


    1. My dearest friend,
      I am so sorry to hear that your father is not well. What a scare it must have been to have him admitted to the hospital in a state like that. Thankfully, as you say, ulcers can be healed.
      With dementia… Yes, that’s a different story.
      I understand how you are feeling. It is heartbreaking. I know from my husband - who works at a home for elderly people - what it does to people, how it slowly but surely robs them of their personality, their ability to recognize family members…and ultimately their life. He often comes home from work, not upset, but definitely touched by the things he hears and sees – particularly the effects this decease has on family members. It is not easy to watch a loved one “disappear” like that.
      Still, I have to say that a very large majority of the ones suffering from dementia has some really good years when they are moved to a home, where they can receive professional care. My husband says that some of them are really blossoming after they moved in, which is a wonderful thing for both them and their family members.
      But getting them there, well that’s a totally different story. I understand that. There are so many feelings involved, both for the one who’s suffering from dementia and for his or her loved ones. Thank God for the doctor who knew just how to talk to your father. I can imagine that it was not the first time the good doctor did so either and I guess elderly people are willing to listen to authorities more readily than someone my age does.
      Hang in there, T.
      I’m keeping my fingers crossed for your father in the hope that he will blossom in his new home, find new friends and perhaps new interests too.

      How was my Christmas?
      Quiet – as always. I’ve been off from work for the past two weeks and have found the time to do some of the things that I am generally too busy or too tired to do, when I am working: Reading books, watching movies for hours, sleeping late… I can tell I needed the break. My batteries feel recharged.

      My daughter’s boyfriend visited us this week too and spent New Year’s Eve with us. He’s a nice young man, very protective of my daughter and very interested in learning how to monitor and control her diabetes.
      With two teenagers in the house, you might think New Year’s Eve turned into quite a party. But no… My husband and I watched TV until midnight and the kids were having fun with my daughter’s new games for her Xbox. Dull?
      A little, but we like it that way.

      It’s almost dinner time. I‘d better find some pots and pans and get something eadable ready!

      I hope that you and your family made it safely into 2015 too and wish you all a happy and prosperous year!


    2. Hi E...

      You's really comforting to talk with someone who understands the situation with my dad. Here you are thousands of miles away from me, but your words help the most... of all of my friends who live right here with me. Of course, I realize that a person can't begin to understand what it's like until they go through it, so they are only doing their best to help me through it. What a coincidence that your husband works with the elderly and sees the effects of dementia everyday. If he has any other tips for me while I go through this with my dad, I would sure welcome them:)

      I am trusting for a better New Year in 2015. There has got to be a better day coming...right??? The trials that we go through serve to help us grow and become stronger. If we never had a problem, then we'd never know that God can solve them, and we'd never know what faith in God could do.

      Sounds like you have had a nice, relaxing time with your family over the holiday. Your daughter's boyfriend sounds like a fine young man:) My son brought home his Xbox for his youngest sister to enjoy, and keep here and he got her a game for it, too:) No....your New Year's Eve doesn't sound dull at all. Our kids enjoy being with their friends and they bring them here quite frequently, and I am glad that they want to be here.

      I have been thinking of Michael as I have been going through this difficult time in my life, and how alone he was...not having a real friend that he could trust. I can't begin to imagine what that was like for him. He has said many times that his faith in God, and the love of his fans carried him through such dark days. His Christian witness of this precious man gives me strength and encouragement and reminds me that we CAN do all through Christ who strengthens us, and it's during these dark times of our lives that we find out who we really are and just what we are made of, and we learn that we can take more than we think we can. It's through that process that we are silver...and we emerge out of that trial stronger and better able to face the challenges of life that are going to come our way.

      Better go for now. It's Monday and my house shows the evidence of a busy weekend, surrounded by my kids...and very much lived in. That's okay. I would rather have a house full of love than a spotless one any day:)

      Hey...are you still writing? I think I lost track of your stories. If you have any new ones, could you please send me the links? I could use a "Michael Escape" once in a while:)

      Take care and give my best to your family as well.

      I love you my friend....


    3. T, my friend,
      I’ve left you hanging for too long, but here I am! Finally!

      About your father…
      My husband has told me more than once that music has a very positive influence on people suffering from dementia and often helps bring back memories or awaken happy feelings which sometimes cannot be awakened otherwise. And with your love of singing and your beautiful voice, which I am sure he knows well… I’d say you have a real gift here, which could continue to touch your father even when his illness is far progressed.

      Let me give you an example:
      At the center where my husband works there’s a woman who is in the final stages of Alzheimer’s: She never gets out of her room, rarely speaks and never displays any feelings. In short, she is completely withdrawn from the world. So everyone was taken by complete surprise when one day, she came walking out of her room, smiling and humming. She reacted to the song being played on the electric organ by one of the staff members, who apparently knew how to. When they asked her family members about it later that week when they came to visit, they were told that she had had one in her home herself and that her husband had played it really well.

      Wonderful story, but even more wonderful to me, since I was the one who donated the electric organ.
      I bought it years and years ago for money given to me by my grandmother, but it had just sat in my house for years without anyone playing it – so I decided that I would donate the organ to the care center so that it could put a little music back into the lives of people my grandmother’s age. (My grandmother passed away 14 years ago and it was hard parting with the organ, but I know I did the right thing.)
      Now a professional musician comes by every week and they sing songs and dance – at least those who can.
      Yeah… Music makes a difference.

      “and it's during these dark times of our lives that we find out who we really are and just what we are made of, and we learn that we can take more than we think we can. It's through that process that we are silver...and we emerge out of that trial stronger and better able to face the challenges of life that are going to come our way.”

      Amen. Very well put.
      Sometimes we do indeed surprise ourselves, don’t we?
      I remember facing obstacles that I didn’t think I’d be able to climb and then suddenly I find myself on the other side of it anyway. And I stop and go “Wow… I did it. Didn’t think I could.”
      This is the very thing that makes us grow as humans.
      Experience leads to wisdom.

      Yes, I am still writing, although I have had to slow down a bit due to my work situation.

      Here are some links for you:
      Stairway to Heaven Chapter 1 - 83 :
      (Scroll waaaaay down and start at the very bottom, then work your way up, one chapter at a time.)

      L.O.V.E. Lives Forever (the sequel) Chapter 1 – 76:
      (Same procedure)

      I can’t recall if you’ve read Encounter 9?
      If not, here are the links:

      Or you can download the whole thing:

      Love and best wishes from your friend the old, viking kingdom

    4. Hi E...

      I tried to send you a reply but I don't think it went through correctly, so I will try to remember what I wrote.

      How have you been? I do hope that all is well for you and your family.

      We are trying to deal with the issues that the dementia is presenting for my Dad. Some days it is so overwhelming. He makes progress and then he goes backward and the setbacks are so discouraging. The Nursing Home calls me often and that just keeps me stressed. I need distance from it to protect my own sanity. I have a family of my own to take care of and my own life to live, and right now...The life is being drained out of me. I read something the other day that really grabbed my heart. It said..."You won't come out of the "storm" the same person that you were when you went into it...and that is the reason for the make you stronger." I trust the Lord to take me through this. It is hard....really, really hard...but I have to believe that there is going to be a better day and that this too shall pass in time.

      I have read some of your Michael stories. Thank you for sending the links:) They help me to "get away" sometimes. I love the way you write:) Michael comes alive in your stories, and I can feel his heart, sweetness, and playfulness:)

      I am going on the road again part-time to sing with a Southern Gospel Choir with over 75 members. I have had a lot of material to learn, and that's not easy, because I'm not as young as I used to be. I sang on the road for 10 years, but I was in my early 20's then:) If you Google Gaithers Homecoming Friends on Youtube, it will give you an idea of the kind of music I will be singing. This is the stuff I grew up on. My Mom always had it playing on our stereo. I credit her with my love for music:) The choir I will be singing with is in the style of the Gaither's Homecoming Friends and they have quite a following in our area. I am nervous yet very excited all at the same time. My first rehearsal is this Sunday afternoon. My husband and I will also be celebrating our 24th wedding anniversary that day so it will be a full weekend:)

      Guess I better think about closing for now, so take care. It's been good to visit with you:)

      Love from your friend in the states...


    5. T,
      I understand how you feel. Sometimes I too feel as if I am barely able to keep my head above the water and if just one more thing comes up, I am going to sink. I told my husband a few weeks ago that if he expects me to take care of even the slightest problem on top of all the other things I am dealing with at the moment, I was going to throw the towel in the ring. It is not that I am up against anything serious at the moment, it is just the sheer amount of things and situations that I am expected to take care of… Ugh! My daughter has had a hard time deciding what she wants to do next year after she failed a test in January and was forced to change her plans - and made me VERY worried for her future. On top of this I have too much to do work wise with a new trainee who started last week and a crazy workload – and then there’s the myriad of little things that keep nagging me on top of this. None of them are serious, but still… Sometimes I ask myself “will this ever end?”
      I know the answer of course – it will – so I try to take one thing at a time.

      I do understand that your father’s situation must be ten thousand times more stressful since there’s nothing you can do to help him or to stop the dementia from progressing. So I really shouldn’t complain.

      I hope you’ll be able to keep your head above the water – and going on tour with the gospel choir sounds just like the right kind of thing for you to do at the moment. It is something that makes you happy and something that challenges you in a different way that everyday life…

      I Googled Gaithers Homecoming Friends just as you said I should and watched a few of their videos on YouTube. Their singing was very catchy, so I definitely get where the popularity comes from.
      We have similar styles of music in Denmark, but it gospel choirs are very rare, so mostly it is sung by pop groups. It is known as Dansk Top Musik (Danish Top Music), which is a traditional kind of pop music typically catering for a middle-aged audience. It is highly popular – even has its own radio and TV channel.

      I still prefer Michael, though. I don’t think you’ll hold that against me. :)

      I hope you had a wonderful day with your husband, celebrating your 24th wedding anniversary.


    6. Hi E....

      Sorry it has taken me so long to back to you. Life has been happening, and I have thought of you many times, but didn't have time to sit down like I wanted to and visit.

      So how are you? You sounded rather stressed the last time I heard from you. I hope life is better for you now.

      I am getting ready to travel with the Gospel Choir soon. Next Sunday is our first concert. I am nervous yet excited at the same time. I have been assigned two solos and I'll be doing some duet and trio work as well. Such a great group of people. They have welcomed me in with open arms.

      I still love Michael....always will:) He still inspires me to believe in myself and give it all I've got:)

      My dad's dementia is advancing. He is getting quite aggressive with the help and at times very inappropriate....doing and saying things that I can't believe my dad would ever do or say, so I have to believe that this is part of the disease that is turning him into someone I don't know anymore.

      We have had probably close to a foot of snow in the last 2 weeks. It makes it really hard to take care of our cattle. We had two calves born right in the middle of a snowstorm, so my husband got them into the barn to keep them and their moms warm for a few days before we let them back out into the pasture. It has been so cold this week, but it's supposed to start warming up this weekend. Looking forward to nicer weather ahead and dry roads.

      Better go for now. Hopefully it won't be so long before I get back to you next time.

      Take care and God bless you and your family:)

      Love from your friend in the states,


    7. Hi E...

      You have been on my mind, and when that happens, there is usually a reason for it. Are you okay? Just wanted you to know that I am here for you and you can talk to me.

      Sharing burdens...

      Love from your friend....


    8. Hi T,
      Yes, I was a bit stressed out last time I wrote to you. As a mother I am sure you know the feeling when things are not going as well as they should with your children. You just want the very best but sometimes circumstances make that impossible. Thankfully, life is not a straight road. Yes, there are twists and turns, but also numerous exits that will lead us to new possibilities that we may not even have known existed… So, I think it’s safe to say that my daughter is back on track. And mommy is relieved. :)

      I discussed your father’s situation with my husband. He is not working with the people suffering from dementia directly, but he is around and he sees and hears what is happening both with his own eyes and easy and from his co-workers in the care units.
      People react very differently to dementia. However, they all have one thing in common: It changes their personality and strips them of the “filter” that has kept them from simply speaking what they think. It is very hard for the loved ones, I understand that wholeheartedly, but for those who work with people suffering from dementia, it is just business as usual. Sometimes they even laugh at the things that are being said – like for instance when one of the elderly ladies keeps telling my husband he needs to get a wig every time she meets him in the hallways. My husband is bald. So she’s right of course, but it’s just one of the things we don’t say to one another. Still, I have to say that I laughed out loud too when my husband told me.
      Humor is important - and trust me - there’s a lot of humor where my husband works. I guess it’s a means to overcome the heartbreaking things they see every day.

      Some people blossom when they are first moved into a nursing home, some give up and develop a kind of apathy and some – like your father – become aggressive. It is not a choice they make. Your father does not want to be angry. He just can’t help it. In fact, he probably doesn’t even perceive himself as angry, so dear T, try not to take it to heart too much.
      I know it’s very, very difficult, but you have to try. You see - and I am truly sorry to tell you this - chances are that it is not going to get better. So you need to hang on to the knowledge that it is his dementia speaking, not your father. If you don’t, it’s going to get very hard down the road.

      And now on to a lighter subject…
      We’ve had no snow here this winter, which suited me perfectly, since I ride my bike back and forth to work every day. It is about 15 k each day, so I’ve been more than pleased not to have to battle snowy roads too. The cold and the wind is more than enough. And it’s really windy in Demark. Ugh!
      Anyway, the early spring flowers have started blossoming and if I look closely I can see the tulips and the daffodils getting ready for their turn. Some of my hydrangea have even started opening their leaves, which is way too early, so I keep my fingers crossed that we do not get too many nights with sub-zero temperatures.
      Two years ago, late frost in April almost killed them all.

      In a couple of weeks the forests should all be green again. I can’t wait. I love spring. It is my favorite time of the year.

      When you read this, I guess you’re on the road with the Gospel Choir, so I just want to wish you the best.
      I hope you’re living out that dream of yours.

      Lots of love


  28. Hi E... has been too long since I talked with you last. Glad for this moment in time to visit with my friend:)

    Yes...I totally understand wanting the best for our children. It seems we worry over them more when they get older than when they were little. So many lessons for them to learn and we have to let them make their own mistakes so they'll see the light. Just telling them won't ever get through to them, and that's painful.

    My Dad is doing better. I don't know if they have adjusted his meds or what but he has been so much more pleasant. It's like he is finally adjusting to his new living quarters. It has sure broke my heart going through this. He's my dad and I want to see him happy. I have been taking him his favorite candy when I go to visit. I don't know if that is helping or not, but it sure can't hurt, and he looks forward to the treat. He just turned 82 on Friday.

    I have been singing with the Gospel Choir and loving every minute of it. I have a solo and sing with a trio within the choir as well. This week will be the last concert before our summer break. I keep in mine all the instruction that I have read from Michael. Can you imagine what it would be like to travel with him on tour and sing night after night? A friend of mine suggested biotene spray because my mouth would get so dry. Our concerts will last almost two and half hours, not to mention the rehearsal beforehand. There are 39 soloists and several trio and quartets that come across the stage during that night, and we have close to 100 members

    It is time to get our crops planted but we have had quite a bit of rain and cool temps which is slowing down the process. I'm sure soon enough it will warm up though.

    How is life going for you? Hope that this finds you and your family doing well. Tell them hello from me. I tell my kids about talking with my friend from Denmark. They think that is cool:)

    That's about all I guess I'll close for this time.

    Take care and I send you much love my friend.


  29. E....

    It's me...T:). Are you okay? It's been quite some time since I heard from you. I understand that life happens for all of us, but you have been on my mind, and there is usually a good reason for that my friend.

    Hoping to hear that you and your family are well...

    Love from your friend in the states...


    1. Hello T!
      I am so happy to hear that your father is doing better. I can imagine it must have taken a huge weight off your shoulders and given you a chance to take a deep breath – and a little peace and quiet to focus on yourself.
      And your singing of course. :)

      Since it’s been a while since we’ve talked, I guess you’re on the summer break from the Gospel Choir now, right?
      Did you get your crops planted?

      Life has been happening around here again. And don’t worry, everything is perfectly fine. I’ve just been really busy these past few weeks and well… Let me be honest… I’ve pretty much hit the couch when I got home from work – or at least as soon as I finished eating dinner.
      The reason?
      The Queen is coming to town to re-open our ceramics museum, which has been closed for a couple of years to make room for expensive renovations as well as added exhibition areas. Now, the museum is a private institution and as such I have nothing do to with them, but two months ago the chairman of the board as well as the museum leader got fired (they couldn’t cooperate and took it out on each other in public, quite the scandal) and so, suddenly there was no one to take care of the re-opening – and the Queen had already been invited.
      The Municipality had to step in to save the arrangement – and so I got involved as well. (I am sure you remember that I work for the Mayor?)
      Anyway, I was given the task of handling the press and all kinds of details concerning security – and let me tell you, there are a lot of things to take into consideration when the Queen is coming (it’s a bit over the top, actually.)
      So this is pretty much what I have been doing for the past months, including what I normally do when I am at work of course. At times it’s felt like I’ve had two full time jobs at the same time.
      Thankfully, it will all be over this Tuesday. I can’t wait for it to be over and to get back to writing and “Michaeling” some more.

      My husband is calling. He’s busy smoking salmon in our garden, so I guess I’d better go find out what he wants. Maybe lunch is ready. :)

      Lots of love from your (suddenly hungry) friend in Denmark


    2. E....

      My dad passed away on Thursday, June 25th....ironically...the same day as Michael left us 6 years ago. He suffered a massive heart attack, and lived through the day. My husband and I were with him in the hospital all day and when we stepped out, on the doctor's suggestion to go home for a little bit and get some rest, we got the phone call that he had passed a little bit after 7pm. My dad had rallied during the day somewhat and I was able to tell him I loved him and he tried to tell me the same. He was 82 years old, and it is a blessing that he doesn't have to suffer. I will never have to worry about him anymore. He has gone home to be with the Lord. My Mom passed away 28 years ago, and now they are together again. Tomorrow is his funeral and we will be celebrating his life. I will be singing at his funeral. It is my last gift that I can give him.

      Hope is all well with you. Have been thinking of you. Sorry it has been so long since I last emailed. Wish you could get a notification every time I thought of you, then you would know how many times you pass through my heart.

      God bless and keep you and I will talking with you again real soon.

      Love from your friend....


  30. T, dear friend,
    I am sorry I have not got back to you much sooner. Normally I receive an email notification whenever someone leaves a comment on my blogs, but for some reason this seems not to be working on my Neverland blog anymore. I realized only yesterday that it’s been a while since anyone has commented and started wondering what was going on. I was horrified when I realized that you’d left a message for me more than a month ago… An important message…
    Oh dear, I am so sorry. I wish I’d checked before.

    I am so sorry for your loss, T. It is so hard to lose a beloved family member. Still, I can tell from what you write that your loss, no matter how heartbreaking it is, has also been a relief to some degree. I am happy you feel that way. It makes the grieving process easier (not that it is ever easy.)
    What a strange coincidence that he passed that day… Still, I am absolutely sure it is just a coincidence, one of fate’s strange twists…

    I am proud of you for having the strength to sing at your father’s funeral. I know I could never do that. (Which is probably a good thing since I have not been blessed with a talent like yours.)

    Okay, T, I have to go. I’m back at work again after a three week vacation, so I have a lot of work that has piled up while I was gone. Talk to you again soon!

    Lots of love - and my heartfelt apologies and sympathy


    1. Hi E...

      So good to hear from you. I was afraid that something was wrong and hoped that you were just away spending time with your family. It would really bother me if we were no longer able to contact each other. We have become good friends, and I would greatly miss you. If it ever comes to the point that you decide not to keep your Neverland Blog, then I hope that we can email each other personally.

      I miss going to the Nursing Home to see my Dad. It is still hard to believe that he is gone, and that he just slipped out so quick. But there is peace in knowing he is in God's Hands now and I won't ever have to worry about him again. It broke my heart to see him slipping away...just laying there day in and day out. He was so happy to see me, even if he didn't always know who I was....I was the lady who came to see him with my daughter.I really believe that God gave us that last day to spend together at the hospital, and that he knew who I was. The doctors said, with the hard hit that his heart took, that they couldn't believe he even came out of it and rallied that day. His kidneys were shutting down, but he fought valiantly. They needed to run some tests, so the doctor told us to go home and get some rest and they would call us if anything changed. We got the call a little after we left, telling us that they had gone in to check on him....and he was gone, and they were so sorry for our loss. I have been told that he was waiting for me to leave. He didn't want me to see him pass. When I got that call, my whole world stood still. I'll never forget that moment and those words..."your dad has passed away." We went back to his room so I could say goodbye to him. I needed that time with him. It broke my heart to see him there on his deathbed. For that moment in time....He was my Daddy and I was his little girl and I had to said goodbye to him. He was with us for 82 years.

      I sang "Celebrate me Home" at his service. I will try to send you the link, but if it doesn't make it, go to Celebrate me Home by the Perrys on youtube and you'll hear the song I sang for him.

      I better go for now. Thank you for the love. It really helps. Grief takes time to work through, and it surprises me when I least expect it.

      Hoping that you and your family are all well.

      Love to you my friend....


  31. E....

    Sorry....I forget to include the link, so I hope this gets to you.


    1. T,
      I have no plans to shut down this blog. Only I don’t think I will be able to keep posting updates and new stuff once Michael’s old home has been sold. Or at least not as frequently… Most likely a new owner would not want to share anything with us. (I probably wouldn’t, if I was rich enough to buy a place like this.) So it all comes down to me digging up old stuff, which I am afraid is getting rather difficult these days.

      You know, this proposition of yours actually made me smile. I was like “ooooh, there’s the first, small step away from anonymity.” Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind at all that all I know about you is what I presume is the first letter of your name - “T”. But that doesn’t mean I’ve never been curious to know more. *smiles*
      Still, I’ll leave it entirely up to you to decide when and if we move on to a different platform of communication.

      “I have been told that he was waiting for me to leave.”
      It’s so strange. This is exactly what I thought before I read that line of yours. Both my grandmothers passed that way. As did my uncle. It cannot be a mere coincidence. It must be their last act of love to spare us from going though that painful moment where we are absolutely powerless and can do nothing but watch our loved one leave. Maybe they are afraid they won’t go peacefully… I mean, it’s out of their control too.
      Anyway, I definitely think you’re on to something here.
      The power of the human mind and subconscious is remarkable. Even when you think they’ve passed the point of no return, there’s that little spark… It made my grandfather wake up from a coma on Christmas Eve, just hours before he died, and call for my grandmother. He wanted to give her the gift he’d bought months earlier, when he was still able to get around. A watch…
      He then slipped right back into the coma and died a few hours later.
      How did he know when to wake up? How was it even possible? He had a massive brain tumor, and yet it seemed as if somehow, he still kept count of the days and hours…and then he passed on “time” to my grandmother, when he gave her the watch…
      Truly awe-inspiring…

      I have a hard time when it comes to funeral services. No matter if it’s a distant or close relative, I always end up bawling my eyes out. Not so much for the deceased, but for the grief-stricken relatives… It’s soooo hard to watch their sadness. I can still remember my cousins face, when a woman from the choir got up at his father’s service and sang Amazing Grace… That was tough.
      Still, I watched the video you sent me and… I’m sure you can imagine what happened.
      Yep, had to get my tissues out.
      I cannot even begin to imagine how you had the strength to do that. Wow…

      My daughter started in prep-school three weeks ago and is really enjoying it there. Next year – if all goes well – she will move on to the Design Academy, which means she will also leave home and move more than 200k away from mommy and daddy… I am scared already, but she’s really excited… Ah, sometimes I wish I was a teenager too… They have no idea what awaits them and go through life without a care in the world. Until they start encountering the inevitable bumps in the road that is… Bumps that will hopefully not discourage them, but instead give them a better insight into themselves - and wisdom of life.
      Life is a learning process.
      If she knew what I know, she wouldn’t get out of the house, so I guess it’s a good thing teenagers don’t always think of risks and consequences they way we grown-ups do.

      Okay, I’ve got to go for now. (I am writing this at work – again.)

      Love - as always

    2. Hi E...

      I am on a two week break from Choir right now, and it feels good to be able to spend some time with my family, even though I LOVE singing with the choir. We are winding down. Only 6 more concerts before we are done for this season in November. If I never get to walk across the stage again, I have had the most amazing experience with people who have become like my family as we lift up the name of Jesus in word and song.

      Thank you for sharing your Grandfather's passing with me. I count that an honor. Death is such a mystery. I read a book recently about a hospice Nurse who witnessed the most precious moments with her patients before they passed. Each experience was different and they were being "prepared" for they passing. It helped me when my Dad passed to understand some of the things that were happening that day.

      So you would like to know a little bit more about me? Okay....I'll give you this much. You are right. T:) stands for the first letter of my name. Do you want to try and guess what it is, or do you want me to just come right out and tell you? :) Is your name Enola Lee, or is that your Pen name that you write by? Speaking of writing....I haven't read any of your Michael stories for a long time now, and I would love to do that....if you wouldn't mind sending me the links:) Don't worry if they are a little "romantic". I don't mind:) I continue to research all I can about him when I have the time and I have learned so much about him by reading accounts of those who knew him personally. What we see in the media and what I have learned about his heart, are two very different people. I wish I could have been the friend he longed for and could trust. I can't imagine what it would have been like to just "hang out" my kids call it....with him and laugh and talk and play. To have a friend that you can trust and share your life and your heart with is a priceless treasure. I consider you a priceless treasure because look how far we have come through Michael? We share our hearts and dreams and hopes with each other, and that is an amazing gift. Even though we are so far away, the internet, which can be a scary place sometimes has brought us together and that is a blessing:)

      I totally understand how you feel about having your daughter possibly move away to go to the Design Academy. I still cry every time my oldest daughter drives up the lane to head back to St. Louis Christian College. They will never outgrow our love, and that's the hard part....loving them the way we do but having to let them go so they can spread their wings and make their own life. She has a special man in her life that she has brought home for us to meet. He is a sweet young man. He called and asked my husband for permission to date our daughter. I thought that was so sweet in this day that we live. My Katie is coming home this weekend, and I can hardly wait to see her:)

      I better go for now, but I wish I could stay and visit with you for a while. Time to get the dishes done....ugh....I HATE that job.

      Take care and I wish you joy and happiness in the days to come. (((HUG))))

      love from your friend in the states....


    3. Hi T,
      Do I want to try and guess what your name is? T, seriously, do you have any idea how many names start with the letter “T?” Well, I guess I could find a list of names on the internet and just start from the top – that would certainly keep me busy for a while. *smiles*
      I think it would be easier if you told me.
      I’m picturing you having a traditional name, though. I don’t know why, I just do. I am aware that I may be way off, so please accept my apologies in advance if you have a really, fancy modern name.

      Enola is my “undercover internet name”. Before Michael died, I was not active on any internet forums or had any social media profiles, but after his death, I needed to talk to people, who were going through the same grieving process and so my online life started. Now since I have a job in the public administration and is fairly visible professionally speaking, I knew I had to keep things separate: My real name for my professional life and an invented name for my online life. In came Enola – my cat.
      “Lee” is something my Chinese teacher used to call me. You see, my real name sounds a bit like “Lee Si Bai” in Chinese, which means “plum white silk.” (No doubt plum for my fat cheeks and white silk for my hair.)
      So, my real name is Lisbeth. There you have it. A very traditional name… (A short form of Elizabeth as I am sure you are aware.)
      Now it’s your turn!

      As for the stories…
      Here’s a link to my download page, where you can download the complete Stairway To Heaven as well as a few short stories, you may have not read yet. (I can’t remember how far you got to be quite honest…)
      Anyway, here’s the link:
      As you can see, the sequel to the Stairway To Heaven will be available for download once it’s finished too – and it’s not going to be long. A few more chapters and then I’ll close that book forever. You’re the first one to know, T. I don’t feel driven to write anymore, which I take as a sign that I am through the grieving process when it comes to Michael. He still means the world to me - as does his music - but I don’t feel the need to cling to him desperately or to “keep him alive” by writing anymore.
      I’ve let go and I am quite comfortable with it.
      And I guess that’s the way it should be.

      I’m not going to stop being active online, though.
      So you can always find me here. I’ll just stop writing (at some point in the near future) and stop being a Michael Jackson follower exclusively. There are many other great things out there that I want to take a look at too.
      For one, I am a sucker for romantic, period dramas – and the recent, highly successful one produced by the BBC (Poldark) has really got me going. (Yes, I’ll admit it’s about the main character too. A very handsome Irishman called Aidan Turner. Oh dear… He’s the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. Oooohhhh… A girl can dream, can’t she?) Fun aside, the series is definitely worth watching if you ever get the chance. There are some absolutely stunning panoramas of the Cornish landscape in it as well. A real pleasure to the eye - and to the heart. *smiles*

      Have fun with the last concerts – and remember to enjoy every moment!
      As you say, you never know if you’ll get a chance like that again. (Although I am sure you will.)

      Love from you Danish friend
      E… Uh wait… L *smiles*

    4. Hi E.....or should I say....L:),

      I'm sorry it has taken me so long to write back. I have been traveling with the choir, and we are down to our last concert on November 1st. Then we get a 4 month break. I am ready. Mostly because I have been dealing with a health issue that has interrupted my life, but I am getting better.

      I love your name. My oldest daughter's middle name is Beth. Lisbeth is such a pretty variant of Elizabeth:) Plumb cheeks and white silk hair? You sound lovely:) Okay....are you ready for my name? It's "Tammy" ....thus... T:)

      Writing about Michael helped you to process his death. I totally understand that you are now at the place where you have moved on, and I believe Michael would want you to do that. I don't think he would want us to stay by his grave and continue to grieve. He would want us to go do whatever we can to make the world a better place and to pay forward his message of love.

      Aiden Turner? I'll have to Google him so I can see with my own two eyes this man that you think is the epitome of tall, dark and handsome:) I still think Michael is one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen though.

      Have you been doing okay? How is life treating you? I think of you so often, and want to write, but I need time to gather my thoughts, and time is something I haven't had a lot of lately.

      We are finished with our harvest except for some soybeans that were planted later due to too much rain, and have to ripen before we can get them out of the field. We have had beautiful weather, which is a blessing for a farmer, and safety which is a major blessing as well.

      Better go for now, so you take care. I would like to stay in touch with you, so if it would work better to email each other instead of continuing to write off of your posts, just let me know.

      Love from your friend in the States....


    5. E....or L....which ever one you wish for me to call you by...

      Are you okay? I haven't heard from you in quite some time and I am starting to get concerned. Please let me know that you are okay.


    6. Hi Tammy!!
      I am perfectly okay, don’t worry. Life – and work – just keeps me busy. I have to take one thing at a time. If I don’t, I think I would leave a lot of unfinished business behind… Anyway, I finished writing a new chapter of my story last week, so here I am.

      So, your name is Tammy? I love it! And when I first saw it, I was like “Yes, of course.” Somehow, it fits right in with the image I’ve created of you. Don’t ask me why. I can’t really explain why other than the fact that Tammy feels just right. And that’s not really an explanation, is it?
      Speaking of names…
      I have a feeling we’re going to stick to our real names from now on, so do call me Lisbeth.

      I hope you’ve gotten your soybeans out of the field by now. We’ve had a lot of rain here as well as relatively cold weather all summer, so the corn harvest has been horrible in most of Denmark this year, bordering of none existent. As far as I know, growing corn in Denmark is a bit of a risky business too, because of our geographical location, so when it goes wrong, it goes seriously wrong. It’s been many years since I’ve seen anything like this though. (Corn no higher than 20-30 inches – completely worthless)
      Not that it’s an economic disaster… We’re not dependent on corn. We’re mainly growing various sorts of grain and after doing so for at least 1000 years, we’ve developed sorts that will grow even in a summer far worse than this.

      One thing does worry the Danes at the moment, though. I’m sure you’ve heard of the mass migration into Europe.
      It is pushing us both culturally and financially – and as I feared – it is a threat to our security too, a fact made blatantly obvious after the Paris attacks last Friday.
      Now, don’t get me wrong. Refugees need shelter, food and security. Absolutely… And they’re welcome. But what is going on at the moment is something else too… It is millions of people, not necessarily affected by war, who migrate looking for a better life. (Is is estimated that 60 million people are on the move right now.) I can’t blame them for wanting that, since it is what we all want essentially, but the problem is that because of their sheer numbers, we can’t offer them all a better life. I know it sounds horribly cynical, but it’s impossible to lift millions upon millions of people to the standard of living that we’re currently enjoying in Europe.
      Why? Well, first and foremost because we can’t afford it. The truth is – and it’s a sad truth – that the majority of the migrants will end up on welfare and they will stay on welfare for the rest of their lives. We don’t have the money to pay for that – unless we take them from someone else. And it’s only going to get worse… It’s the same all over Europe. When we try to lift the migrants out of poverty, other people’s standard of living will go down all across the continent. Now, I may be able to live with that personally, but those less well-off are going to suffer the consequences. And there are a lot of people, who are not well-off in Europe.

      To be continued...

    7. And then there’s the whole cultural thing…
      Our Western culture is under a lot of pressure at the moment simply because most of the migrants have a different cultural background. We try to adapt and to accommodate everyone but at the same time this means we’re losing ourselves and our way of life to some degree. I can give you more examples than you’d care to read, but let me just say that there are already traditions that we’ve had to give up on – traditions that we’ve had for a very, very long time, traditions that were a natural part of our culture, no questions asked…
      And I’m not happy with that. I love different traditions – foreign ones too – but I’d like to keep my own too. And I can’t.
      This worries me. Especially since the demands are getting more numerous and louder all the time…
      I love my country, our freedoms, values and traditions… But there’re changing into something that I don’t like, something I can’t support, something that I didn’t sign on to.
      We’re such a small country. Only 5 million people… If the migration continues at this rate, in 15 years we’re going to be outnumbered in our own country by people of mainly Middle Eastern and African origin.
      It doesn’t keep me awake at night yet – I cling on to the hope that it can’t go on like this – but I am worried, particularly for future generations. What is life going to be like for them?

      Being an American, you know better than anyone what we’re facing when it comes to national security… So I’m not going to go there.

      Tsk, Tammy…
      I’ve been rambling, haven’t I?
      Sorry… It’s just a subject that matters a lot to me.

      I don’t mind talking to you here, but of course e-mails are more private. I just don’t know how we can exchange e-mails without posting them here and thus risk getting spammed from all directions. If you have any suggestions, please don’t hesitate to let me know – but otherwise I guess we’ll just continue here. It’s fine with me.

      I hope you’re all well – and slowly getting ready for Christmas. (I am!)
      Wow… It’s been a year again. Time flies!

      Lots of love

    8. Hi Lisbeth....

      SO glad to hear from you, and that life is just keeping you busy. I TOTALLY get that:)

      So you think "Tammy" fits me? How about that. Your name is beautiful and I can just imagine that it fits you as well:)

      Yes....we are done with Harvest and so thankful because we have been getting heavy rains this week. It is always a relief when our busy time is done for a while. Of course, we have our cattle to tend to and there is always something to do on the farm.

      Our world is certainly troubled at the present...that's for sure. If we ever needed the Lord's help before....we sure do need Him now.

      I heard Michael's "Man in the Mirror" playing at the grocery store the other day, and it really took me by surprised, because after 6 years, you would think that those "Michael moments" would have lessened in frequency, but it seems that his legacy is still very much alive and well.

      My son is moving soon. He just bought his first home, and he is so excited to get moved in. He has a very special lady in his life and she wants to get her schooling finished before they get married, which will be in a couple years. She is studying to be an elementary teacher, and I know she will do just fine because she has a teacher's heart.

      I have to go for now. Will write more very soon.

      Take care....

      Love to you...


    9. Merry Christmas Lizbeth and May God bless you and your family with much joy, health and happiness in the coming year:)

      Love from your friend in the states...


    10. Merry Christmas to you too, Tammy!

      To me, Christmas has always meant "family time" - a time to get together with loved ones and relatives. So naturally I hope you're surrounded by your family and loved ones too!

      In Denmark, we celebrate Christmas on the 24th as I am sure you are aware and as ususal my parents came to celebrate it with us. We had a wonderful Christmas dinner and then danced around the Christmas tree singing Christmas carrols. Then it was time to exchange gifts - my favorite part of the evening. Not because I like getting gifts (or I do but it's not the most important thing...) I love giving and watching people's faces when they unwrap their presents!

      And soon it will be 2016!
      I've invited my cousin (who's lived in the US for 25 years) and his new wife to dinner. She's from Thailand, so it's going to be quite an "international" affair. I'm looking forward to it - and to cooking the dinner too. New Year's dinners are so much fun because one gets to do everything a little bit "over the top". I plan on doing an international menu with a chili chicken salat, beef wellington - and peach cobbler for dessert. (My cousin lived in Mississippi, so I hope the dessert will make him feel as if he's back home again.)

      Have a safe New Years Eve - and lots of love and happiness in the coming year!



    11. Hi Lisbeth...

      Sorry it has taken me a while to get in touch. My son asked his girlfriend to marry him just 2 weeks before Christmas, so it has been an exciting, busy time around here preparing for the wedding. They have chosen June 24,2017. His fiance' has some schooling she wants to finish before they get married. She is studying to be an elementary teacher, and I think she's going to be very good at it. She has a teacher's heart and is so good with children.

      My oldest daughter has a very special man in her life as well. He is the son of a preacher of the Gospel, and we have enjoyed the company of his family in our home. He is very loving and respectful of my daughter, and that is a very good thing.When he wanted to start dating our daughter, he called and asked permission from my husband. Sweet of him, and it meant a lot to us as her parents to know he thought that much of her, and of us.

      How is your New Year going so far? It's going by so fast. Here it is the 20th of January already.

      I think of you so often, my friend.Life just keeps marching on and somedays I wish I could hit the "pause" button for a little bit so I can catch up.

      Did you see where Spike Lee has made a new documentary about Michael and it will be out on dvd next month? Kind of exciting since anything about Michael has cooled down tremendously. I still consider it to be a gift that he brought the two of us together. I'll never forget it.

      Better go for now. Take care and the Lord bless you Lisbeth in this New Year and may you know His love around you each and every day.

      Love from your friend in the states....


    12. Hi Lisbeth...

      Just checking on's been a while, and I'm hoping that everything is okay with you and your family.

      I have noticed that we don't talk like we used to. Makes me sad because we used to talk so openly and share from our hearts. I know life happens for both of us, but I have noticed the steady decline in our messages to each other.

      My daughter is in Monterrey, Mexico right not on a Mission trip with our church. She is 17, and the youngest member to go and she was pretty anxious because we have never flown, so she was going to fly and go to another country without her Mom and Dad and that was a big step for her.It might not seem like a big deal to some, but for on the farm? it's huge.I got word that they landed safe and sound Thursday afternoon, and this Mama was relieved. They are set to return on Monday, and she won't get home until close to midnight...then have to get to bed and get up to go to school the next morning. I am going to let her sleep a little later than usual because I know she'll be tired. She has missed 3 days of school to go on this trip, and she can't afford to miss anymore. Our church supports the missionaries there in Monterrey, so they invited our mission team to come and work with the people this week.I can hardly wait to hear about this amazing journey.

      Take care...and I hope to hear from you soon so I know you are well.

      Love you much my friend....


    13. Tammy,
      At long last I am able to reply.
      These first two months of 2016 have been crazy.
      I’ve been busy as never before at work and on top of that I’ve had to travel half-way across the country numerous times to take courses in film editing (both theoretical and practical). It’s been stressful, because even though I wanted to go, I knew that with each passing hour spent away from work, the number of e-mails and unfinished jobs would just go up. And then when I got back to work and should have been practicing what I’d just learned, there was no time to do so…
      Not good…

      I guess I have not made it any easier for my by taking in someone, who needed to be nursed back into the work force. He has been unemployed for years due to severe anxiety issues, but when I met him the first time after having been contacted by our job department, he was just out of treatment and in need of a place to start. So I said yes, knowing only too well that I was not going to thank myself for it afterwards. Still, I really wanted to help him and it was only 13 weeks, then he would have to move on to an ordinary job, so I thought I could handle it…
      And I could. In fact, things went really well and he felt ready to move on after just three weeks. So I guess I must have done something right. I could just feel him blossom a little more day bay day. Very rewarding actually…
      He even got a little cheeky with me in the end, which I enjoyed tremendously. Had quite a few laughs…
      He was very good at helping me out with some of my orders, so in that respect I miss him too. It was nice to have an extra hand.

      Anyway, it’s not the first time that I’ve been involved in something like this and so far I have been successful at it. Not that I think it makes me a saint or a genius… I’ve just been lucky to push the right buttons, because quite frankly I have no idea what I am doing. I just do whatever I feel is right when I deal with people like that.
      Still, at work it has earned me the nick-name “mother.” (My boss came up with it actually.)

      So, with this whirlwind of work, courses and people needed to be looked after, I have had neither the time nor the energy to spend much time online, I am afraid – and you know the result. Total radio silence on my part…
      Sorry. I wanted to reply, but I just wanted to crash when I got home from work.

      I can see from your letters that your children are all well on their way. That makes me happy!
      My daughter is having a bit of a bumpy ride at the moment. She was supposed to start studying this summer with her boyfriend (at the same school), but he started back in January (because he got a chance one simply must take), so now she’s not really sure what she wants to do, since she can’t follow the same courses now. But she’s only 17… There’s plenty of time and I am not going to pressure her into anything. If she wants to stay home for a few more years until she’d confident that she knows what she wants, then that’s perfectly fine with me. It’s better to get it right the first time than trying something and then either failing or changing one’s mind repeatedly - especially if you’re not overly confident.

      Okay, work beckons - I just wanted you to know that I am still here.


      P.S. No, I have not had the opportunity to watch the Spike Lee documentary. I will have to wait until it’s out on DVD, since no one here seems interested in broadcasting it.

  32. Hi Lisbeth...

    I am still here. Life has been happening, and I have been thinking about you and that I needed to check in with you before you thought that I fell off the face of the earth. How ARE you my friend? I hope this finds you and your family doing well.

    We are trying to get our crops planted but the rain keeps coming so now we have to replant what was planted. My husband is getting discouraged, so I am trying to keep him encouraged. God has never failed us, and He has always seen us through one way or another. But it is scary, as this is our living.This is where our faith is challenged, but strengthened at the same time.

    How has life been treating you? Are you writing much,or is it hard to find the time?

    My daughter Katie(20 yrs. old) just had a cyst removed from her face...perched on her left cheek bone.She has had it since she was little but it has been growing so our doctor suggested we contact a plastic surgeon to have it removed. She did fine, but she is swollen and bruised. It was quite large so that's understandable. The surgeon also took off a mole that he didn't like the looks of and he sent it off to be checked, and he'll let us know what the results are.Katie can feel a calling from God on her life to be a missionary, and there are so many things she dreams of doing within that calling.

    My youngest daughter, Chloe, just finished her Junior year of High School and moves on to be a Senior....her last year.She's not quite sure what she wants to do with her life yet. She loves animals, and singing, and she gives amazing back massages. Her sister suggested that she "job-shadow" this summer to give her an idea of what it's like to work within the things she enjoys doing. so she is excited about that.

    I am on break for the summer from traveling with the choir. It has been an amazing journey. Right now our host in trying to decide if we should continue on into 2017.I have learned so much from them and the Lord has blessed me with so many friendships within the choir.If it's God's plan for us to continue, then I'm in, but if not, then I have had an amazing journey.

    My son, Eddie, is getting married next June, so it is a busy time as you can imagine. He and his wife will live only 2 miles from us, so we'll get to see them quite a bit and that is so nice. He is 6'4 and his wife to be is 5 foot:)

    Better go for now. I will never forget who drew the two of us together....our friend Michael. He is still dear to me, and I still experience "Michael Moments" that thrill my heart.

    God bless you and keep you in His love and care...

    Love you lots...


  33. Hi Lisbeth...

    Concerned that we have lost touch, or that something is wrong. I hope that you and your family are okay.

    Thinking of you...

    Your friend....


    1. I'm still here, Tammy.
      But as you say, life is happening and suddenly you realize that months have passed...

      I've been in Spain since we last got in touch. Took a week off in the end of May and went there to get away from the bad Danish weather and get a break from work and everything else that's been going on lately. I've had a bit of a rough ride lately, mainly because of changes at work, but also due to some issues involving my daughter that I've not been able to solve. We may have a welfare system in this country, but when we need it, it never works. (My daughter needs professional counseling to get past some insecurity issues that keep holding her back.) Nothing holds back the system from making sure that we pay the highest taxes on the planet though... Tsk... Yes, I've been angry as I am sure you can tell. It's been an uphill battle and it's pretty much sucked the energy out of me for months, but now - realizing that I can't change the system - I've decided that I need to stop before I get so tired and frustrated that I can't function properly. I have to be patient and wait for her to turn 18 - which is in a few months - and then things should get a lot easier. Being 17 apparently leaves you in a limbo when it comes to support from "the system." Oh well... I am not entirely without ressources either. :)
      We'll get there.
      Only fight the battles you have a chance to win. At least that's one thing I've leaned from all of this.

      I got a chance to see the Spike Lee documentary since we last spoke. Interesting... Not enough Michael in it though. :)
      With him being gone, I guess that's something we have to get used to. There's only so much footage... Strange... To think there will never be something new, It feels so final. But that's how it works. Can't change that either, right?

      Right now I have three weeks off from work. I spend most of the time watching television series, because the weather is really bad - so Game of Thrones, Black Sails and a bit of The Walking Dead is my best companions at the moment. I do hope the weather gets better before my vacation is over so we can go out and do something as a family too. We love going to a safari park not far from here, but it's not much fun if it feels like autumn outside. I still have a week and a half off, so keep your fingers crossed.

      The only good thing about shitty weather (pardon my French) is that it gives me the perfect excuse to spend some time in my kitchen cooking and baking all kinds of nice - and naughty - things. I don't know what it's like in your country - but Danes like to eat when the weather isn't great. And preferably a lot... :)
      Maybe it is our viking heritage. They are famous for their feasts. trust me Greek orgyes are nothing compared to a viking feast. LOL!

      Speaking of food...
      My stomach is rumbling. I'd better go pillage the fridge.

      Hope everything is okay with our family!


    2. Hi Lizbeth... has been about you? Been thinking about you, but we're in harvest right now, and I am still traveling with the Gospel choir, so it's hard to find the time to sit down and visit with you the way I would like to.

      It seems everytime I get the chance to get on youtube to look up music to rehearse, Michael is there. What is up with that? People are saying he is coming back and they really believe it. Personally, I don't. Why would he? If somehow he did fake his death, I believe that he was in danger and the only reason would be to protect his family. If he has found refuge and peace, then the world needs to leave him alone. He gave his best while he was The King of Pop, and there are still those trying to get rich off his legacy. It's time to let Michael rest in Peace. I will always hold him dear to my heart, and appreciate his immense talent that God blessed him with....and he used it so well.

      My daughter came home on her Fall break for a couple days. We had so much fun and were on the go the whole time of her visit. We also made some yummy treats together that she wanted us to try. She is so bubbly and such a "presence" that when she breaks my heart. I know it's supposed to be this way. She is supposed to have her own life...but the sting of the separation hurts...why does it have to hurt so bad? I guess that the price of love.

      It is finally acting like Fall here. The temps just dropped yesterday and got down in the 40's overnight. It has been such a long hot summer and I have been patiently waiting for cooler weather. This is my favorite time of year...when it's cool enough that you need a sweater and long pants:)

      How have you been my friend? I hope that all is well for you and your family, and that you are happy. I think of you often.

      Better is calling.

      Take care and God bless:)

      Love ya...


  34. Merry Christmas you and your family.



    1. Merry Christmas, Tammy!

      Today is my last day at work before the holiday, so as I'm sure you can imagine my thoughts are not really on my work. :)
      As usual we celebrate Christmas at my place and my parents are coming over. With my husband and daughter we'll only be five people, but a Danish Christmas is as crazy as your Thanksgiving - at least food-wise - so I have so many thing I need to do before we sit down to have our Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve. I'm too busy to be at work really. :)
      Oh well, I've managed all the other years, so I guess I'll manage this year too.

      I hope you and your family will have a wonderful Christmas - perhaps with a little snow. It always looks so pretty when the landscape outside is all clad in white. (Here we're looking forward to rain and stormy weather. No sub zero temperatures in sight...)

      Oh, and Happy New Year too!


    2. Hey Girl....

      I'm still here.How are you? Tell me what you've been up to. Have you noticed that we write to each other less than we used to? That makes me sad. I so look forward to hearing from you. I know...I have been distant as well, and I think it's because LIFE is happening for the both of us. I know it was Michael who first brought us together, but I do hope that somehow we can remain close.

      How is your family and how has the New Year been treating you? Hope all is well.

      It's hard to believe that we are heading toward Spring. What is Spring like where you live? It goes back and forth from temps in the 70's, and then the next day it may be in the 30's here. It is unpredictable and that can spark dangerous storms due to the atmosphere being so unpredictable.

      Can you believe that in a few short months, Michael will have been gone for 8 years? Where did the time go? It feels like it was just yesterday that we lost him. I didn't met him until he passed away, and I regret that. But the journey I have been on since he passed is something that I would never trade because it has drawn me closer to the Lord, and for that, I am forever grateful.

      Better go for now. Take care and keep in touch when you can.I love hearing from you:)

      Love from your forever friend...


  35. Hi Lisbeth,

    Miss you. Hope all is well with you and your family. I think of you often and I'm concerned that I won't ever hear from you again. I hope that isn't the case. If it is...then meeting you was a privilege and I am blessed that you came into my life for a season such as this.

    God bless and keep you always...



    1. Hi Tammy!
      I'm still here!

      I've had to turn off e-mail notifications for this blog because I've been getting a lot of spam comments. Consequently I do not get notifications when you post something either...and you know how it goes... Out of sight, out of mind...

      But, as I said, I'm still here.
      As is summer... Yay! I hate winter, but I'm sure I've already told you this a dozen times already.

      I've just finished writing the last chapter of my Michael Jackson story.
      7 years' work is now complete... 175 chapters... Wow. I'm a bit surprised myself at the number of chapters. It was not what I had in mind when I started writing in the spring of 2010, but I guess I had a lot to say... :)

      Anyway, 7 years ago I promised to finish what I had started and I can finally say that I have. It feels good. A lot of stories have never been finished, but mine has, I can proudly say.

      I wanted to give Michael a different end and I have - at least in fiction.
      (I may be stubborn, but I can't change the facts of life no matter how hard I might try.)

      Writing has been a great healing process.
      I can honestly say I have moved on. It doesn't mean that I've forgotten, nor does it mean I don't care, I've just put it behind me. And I'm happy for it.
      It's been a good process.

      I hope all is well where you are.

      Love as always